Oddbean new post about login | logout In one month, I will be turning 25. I really want to make the most of the next 5 years, so that by the time I’m 30, I’m prepared for the next chapter of my life. If you're 30 or older, what would be the best piece of advice for someone in their late 20s? #AskNostr
Time is your most limited asset; use it wisely.
Focus and prioritize, you're gonna make it.
1. Focus your Energy 2. Guard your Time 3. Train your Mind 4. Train your Body 5. Think for Yourself 6. Curate your Friends 7. Curate your Environment 8. Keep your Promises 9. Stay Cheerful & Constructive 10. Upgrade the World https://image.nostr.build/4830974462ece6873a6ebb514eb5d701895d653e4bfe73b9ad47676663f7eaf3.jpg
Isn’t this Saylor’s advice?
Yes, I used it as a starting point, but couldn't remove anything or add anything to improve it. There is no 2nd best advice 🙌 Only was able to add the meme, which is also borrowed from someone on Nostr. Anyway the meme kept me thinking a bit, today.
Travel to live in crazy places. It will educate your mind in ways that nothing else will. I mean places like Burma, Niger, or Antarctica. London and Paris will still be there in 20 years when you want a more leisure pace. Pay great attention when selecting your life partner. Most important decision in your life, think "do I want to be with this person in 50years and smell their feet and farts all this time?" If the answer is not a resounding YES, then pass. A lot of people settle for second class. Don't.
If you want to have children, do so within the next 10 years.
I second that. Being raised by older parents, I always felt like I missed some of the best parts of them. Phases of life and all that. My own advice would be to think of your plan A as also a plan B. Life is long, lots of things are going to happen. You may change direction often. You are more free to make the most of that opportunity, if your skills & responsibilities provide for flexibility.
Same. My dad was nearly 50 by the time I was born and died from chronic illness in his 60s. I have siblings much older than me that describe a lively, adventurous man full of life that I basically never had the opportunity to know.
i'm literally 48 now and still to meet the lady... but i already have been suffering the chronic illness and i'm part way through healing... and it was only my body that was weakened (i got pretty bad peripheral neuropathy and muscle weakness due to kidney damage from dehydration, diuretics and artificial sweeteners)... i am already starting to get back kmy strength and like a broken bone i'll be stronger from now still a few more things to resolve but so long as yer dad isn't dumb and following mainstream "medicine" advice and actually sorts out that stuff the experience brings a more stern but understanding personality forged by years of being an idiot honestly though, it's going to be a pretty widespread issue for many people in the coming years because of the poisoning of the women both in body and mind that has made them unsuitable and unwilling to participate in making a family... hopefully that will change soon
1. Don't take advice from strangers on the internet. 2. Have babies with a good woman, and babies are always expensive. 3. It's fine to party, but make sure you work hard. It's so much easier to work hard, in your 20's than in your 40's. 4. Pay off debt, unless it's to buy assets and don't use leverage. 5. Don't take advice from strangers on the internet.
Ironically, the Internet allows and encourages people to be honest and so you often get great advice when asking for it openly, as op has. The Internet also has trolls. Use your judgement and ignore them.
Bro, do what you enjoy. Live your life, no regrets. Learn from your failures and own your mistakes. Be kind to people and try to see the world through their shoes.
You see through shoes? 😁
yes, when they are worn out
Life advice: don't replace your shoes until you can see through them 😅
definitely wrong advice... i've had more than a few see-through shoes in my life because i was homeless
Time to take risk is now. Get fit, live life, explore and don't fall into fiat mentality. While doing all that find the right woman to build your life with. "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs
"time to take risks is now". I think about it a lot and believe this might be the only time I can take a huge risk. Some people also take risks after marriage, but you are still limited. Taking too much risk when you have kids and family is kind of irresponsible. This is really the time 🤔
I had a lot of fun in my 20s and don't regret any of it. There are certain things I would have only wanted to do at that age and don't have a desire for anymore - like live in a small apartment in a dense city. I'm glad I had experiences like those then. So I guess I'm saying do what feels fun and natural now, and try to do a wide range of it. **But also**...! Start developing discipline and foundations that will serve you later. I only got into a solid, regular exercise routine recently and it has been such a life-improving change. I wish I had started sooner. There are whole categories of healthy habits and willpower-building activities that I sidelined in my 20s because they seemed dumb and "overly traditional" or something. I view those as misses now. The lesson there is to take seriously a lot of conventional wisdom and "widespread, boring advice" like exercise, healthy eating and good sleep. You probably *don't* actually need those things now to feel good - I definitely didn't! - but going into later stages of life with solid foundations in personal resiliency and health is a cheat code. You're already a few steps ahead by asking "nostr elders" for advice 👍 Also, read Marcus Aurelius and other stoics.
If you toss your cookies at randoms Even if it’s not as good as you think They may come back years later Change the menu
höre nie auf zu lesen, bilde dich immer weiter...ernähre dich gut, natürlich und ohne Chemie...mache Sport...nimm keine Drogen damit dein Kopf frei ist...iss keinen Zucker...sei immer dankbar...und dir muss egal sein was andere über dich denken, die dich aufhalten wollen sind Neider und Loser
in order of importance (but like all of life these cross pollinate): 1a. self discipline. ex: 2min of pushups, same time every day. 1b. have a life mission statement, a 20-40 year vision, and 20, 10, 5, 1 year SMART goals. learn about SMART 2. physical fitness. includes diet. my biggest regret. don't need a gym but be systematic 3. rawdog life. avoid sugar, porn, alcohol, psychoactive compounds, caffine. especially porn. 2nd biggest regret 4a. stop talking so much. ask questions. 4b. meet weekly with a group of people where you do things together and where you listen 5. tell the truth 6. honor your parents and elders. as in, actively show honor. i don't care how bad they are. 7. have a couple things you're good at that can make money 8. have a couple things you're good at that make people happy / laugh 9. read the classics. read a little every day 10. memorize poetry / stories / songs. third biggest regret
if you want a good future,build it. don't wait for it to happen
+1 travelling. I quit my job at 25 to explore South America for 6 months. It felt risky at the time but was an amazing experience and in the final week, I met my wife to be in Peru.
A woman can either be a blessing or an unimaginably terrible curse.
By your mid-twenties you are starting to know yourself better, ans usually still have loads of energy and enthusiasm for life, so evaluate if your current trajectory feels right. If not, adjust because even if you don't get it quite right, you will be closer than before. If you don't yet know what direction you want to go in, experiment with different things as you still have time to fail and rebuild
Your 20s is a transition decade. This is the time to take stock of your life and figure out what you want to get out of it. You will probably find out that your dreams and aspirations from childhood probably don't apply anymore now that you have matured and most likely you haven't fully figured out what you truly want just yet. Do it now so you can plan and more importantly establish habits and routines that will serve you the rest of your life. Adventure - If there is any wild crazy things that you have always wanted to do then do it now and get it out of your system. You will never have more energy and freedom than you do right now so take advantage so that you don't regret it later or screw up your life with some mid life crisis down the road. Money - You are 25 and don't have any but now is the time to establish budgets and good habits in spending and saving. Avoid debt like the plague. Health - The warranty on your body runs out when you hit 35. Start eating better and ingrain the habit of exercise now. Don't go overboard trying to get huge, massively strong, or run 100s of miles at a time. You will love it now but you will pay for it later in life through your joints and nagging injuries. Family - This is the time in life where you discover that you can choose who is your family from the people in your life and not just by blood. Cultivate friends and relationships. Hang on to the people who are important to you because they start disappearing from neglect in time. Career - now is the time to lay out the beginning of your work and career life. You are going to be thrown curve balls so stay flexible. If a job makes you miserable then change it now. No reason to be bitter and unhappy for years when you have the power to undo it now.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I bookmarked your note and will update my daily routine list to include activities focused on things, you just mentioned, like adventure, money, health, family, skin care, and sunscreen. I will work to improve on these aspects of my life in one way or another.
My sincere advise is that you should find a peaceful place to live a peaceful life, perhaps at the countryside and close to nature, with a good woman and raise children. Having a garden is a must. Probably it will be great if you find a remote job. But... what if you cannot find a woman that wants to live in such a way? That is the serious question...
What you just described is very close to what I wish. I come from the valleys of Kashmir, and I ultimately want to return there. The question you asked is quite complex, and I don’t think anyone has a perfect answer for it. Honestly, if I don’t find a woman who shares my core values, I probably wouldn’t marry. This isn’t a compromise I’m willing to make. It’s not about a specific plan that can change; we can even come up with something better. It’s really about our core values and how we perceive the world.
Yessss! Very good. So... Combine what i said with what Karnage said more or less. You have some time (it is less than you think it is) to do anything and everything, but while doing different things, you should have your plan and your core values as you say. When i said that you should find a peaceful place, i meant that you should do things in order to find it. If you don't do things how will you find that place? Right? I am telling this because later you will not have much desire for travelling etc but rather to do your thing, thus you will need a base. As for the question about the woman you almost answered it. If it is to find a 'whatever' woman, you can do it to the base you will want to be and whatever happens on this field you would still follow your purpose, thus have a meaningful life. Finding one that shares the core values and do that together from the beginning is better of course but maybe not necessary. So the question is not difficult to answer, but it is where most men stuck because they hesitate to make the next step. And better to regret what you have done rather what you haven't done while you could.
Give your life to Christ. Get married. Acquire skills, learn to run a business, Ditch the looser friends, save save save (in bitcoin), have kids asap, stay out of debt, read the Bible as much as possible, pray.
Be honest with the ppl closest to u
Wow, I wasn't expecting so many responses in such a short time. Thank you so much, it really means a lot. 🤍 I'm looking for a peaceful place to sit and read them properly. 🫂 nostr:nevent1qqsvm5980rv9a984psrap0za2x95nf4e5ze7k9sgynm75qm6w2dqrrspzamhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuvrcvd5xzapwvdhk6tczyrr0wpmlz6va2r8e92t990ltl7kqtlrgg2u7uwgs38v4nw9dt4y06qcyqqqqqqgesxhvm
Start meditating (or continue if you do). Specifically: samatha to stabilize your concentration, vipassana to learn to see reality as it is without your ego/mind overlaying its own thing on top, and metta to open your heart. Nothing is more important imo. Wake up, know thyself. Everything else will fall into place.
Take psychedelics once a year and ask yourself/nature/God this question. Do it with good people in nature (float trip hike, etc) and take time to decompress what you learned after. I would say live in the city until you find a spouse, but maybe town is better since I left the city nearby for all it's liberal bs. Travel to every continent before the climate change bullshit takes that away. Don't fuck around, even if you get on the dating apps, just fully be you from the first date, including how you dress. It's way better to weed out people who don't like you for you over a cup of coffee VS 3 months later and it's way less painful. Wish I learned that sooner. Learn to code, even if it's just python. Save a minimum of 10% of your income. 50% is ideal if you have a good job. Don't care what your friends or family think because if you do that by 30 you'll be more well off.
Be mindful of wasting time on useless things like TV shows. You can never get that time back.
Lots of good advice to travel and have experiences. Don’t settle down until mid 30s or later, that can wait. Don’t get married any time soon. 25 is way too young. But do try to fall in love and have kids by 35. You’ve got 10 years to basically go wild and do anything and everything.
This is the best advice. Your brain is finally fully developed at 25. Spend 10 years getting used to your brain. Try stuff out. Don’t trust your judgement, test it. Then around age 35 take stock of your values and set up a life works for you. And if that doesn’t work, you still have more time to figure it out. Just keep trying.
You are already set to a good start by thinking ahead. 1. Keep a low time preference attitude 2. Find a partner for life. Someone who brings out the best of you and loves you for who you are. Do not underestimate the power of a good partner. 3. Eat healthy, no processed food. Diet high in meat and animal fat. 4. Do not get distracted with consumerism or social pressure. Save, buy Bitcoin and stay humble. 5. Don’t be afraid, we all make mistakes. 6. Learn from other people experiences. 7. Have children.
I’m turning 31 soon and I would just add create a personal website if you don’t already have one. It’s a small monthly cost (for hosting, domain name, etc) but by doing it you’ll understand basic IT and coding, putting you light years ahead of most. You could even bake the nostr protocol into it to display your profile data or most recent notes from a personal relay or even set up a personal nip 05.
I am much older. Lessons I would love to have had at ur age: work harder, work for free, dont work for money below ur 30s, no ego, egos f.. up things, network is most important thing, learn new stuff, constantly learn new stuff. First (l)earn. Then remove “l”.
Buy a house and don’t spend loads of money on frivolous shit. Well at least that’s what I’d tell myself.
This year, I became a property owner, not a personal house, currently, I travel a lot. It was a piece of land, currently use it for saffron cultivation, that's a specialty of our area https://i.imgur.com/hpMPJab.jpeg
Assuming you're a man, don't ejaculate for any reason except procreation. It drains your superpower juice. The younger you are when you realize this, the more superhuman you will become. You can still have sex. In fact, you will be able to excitedly do so multiple times a day for years on end with the same partner if you don't nut.
So far, I've gone through half the responses, and each one is meaningful and well-thought-out. Thanks again. 🤍 If you're looking for interesting accounts to follow, you'll find plenty in this thread. I will be following everyone. nostr:nevent1qqsvm5980rv9a984psrap0za2x95nf4e5ze7k9sgynm75qm6w2dqrrspz4mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummcw3ezuer9wchsygxx7urh795e65x0j25k22l7hlavqh7xss4eacu3pzwetxu26h2gl5psgqqqqqqs7uatz3
Disregard most of these as the correct things to do. There is no correct path. Find your own path. Everyone is different and has their own values. Have zero regrets.
If you’re considering a career change, now is the time to start putting plans into action. It’s much easier to do at 25 than 35. I made i big career change at 25-26 to go into software engineering, it took 1 1/2 years and all my savings but it was the best decision I made. Much harder to switch careers once you have more responsibilities and are more set in your ways. Like others said, you should travel. It doesn’t have to be luxurious. The second half of your 20’s will go faster than your first half. This is the time to travel and get more experiences before you have a lower risk tolerance and less energy.
Can you give us a bit more to go on? What sort of person are you? What do you like? What are your current goals? What are you happy with? Unhappy with? What are you most satisfied/please with so far? Biggest regrets? etc
If you want kids, have kids now, don't wait too long, it's never "the right time" for kids and late 20s seem ideal. The sleep depravation won't hit you so hard, you will have energy to have fun with them and in no time the will be able to stay home alone and you will still be in your 30s. Also if you want a career change, never too late small steps and consistency compound pretty fast, same goes forhealtth and wealth, long term thinking is underappreciated, but you are here on nostr so you probably already know this ;)
Make sure you are doing something that you really like and enjoy yourself. Do it for you 🫡
- Quit university (unless you're a doctor, engineer etc)-- just go build/work in the fields you want instead - Practice yoga - Be less agreeable (i.e., take less shit; tell people off) - Eat more meat - Alcohol at a minimum https://mises.org/mises-wire/ten-years-ago-i-discovered-mises-institute-these-are-things-i-wish-i-had-done-differently
Read books.
Buy and hold as much bitcoin as you can. It will allow you to break free from the grind a lot sooner than not. I wish I had known about bitcoin sooner, but am glad I've at least known for the last 3.5 years. Before bitcoin, I thought I was going to have to work until 90, because I never seemed to get very far or save very much. Thank God for bitcoin.
"Stop making excuses!" I found this guiding principle very transformative. Don't deceive yourself and others with excuses as to why you do or don't do something. Excuses get in the way of you becoming a better you. They distract you from learning from mistakes and keep you stuck in place. I expect the same from the people around me. No excuses! Making mistakes or not doing things is perfectly OK. But justifying it with excuses doesn't allow for progress. In my mid-30s, I pinned a few leitmotifs in mirror writing behind my bathroom mirror so that I could see them in the mirror every morning. In my mid-40s I can say - 'Stop making excuses' has the greatest transformative power.
I was gonna say don't waste your 20's but You have it covered already.😉
My best advice: don't listen to advice. At least not as things you have to do. Read what people write, but think it through thoroughly, and decide for yourself, trying to predict the outcomes as far as possible. Your life is yours, and you are the one who decides, and lives with the consequences, positive and negative, the latter both from missed opportunities (which Americans focus unreasonably much on IMO, and there seems to be a large percentage of Americans on nostr) and from things you thought you wanted, but later regret. TL:DR: Try to avoid groupthink.
