Oddbean new post about login | logout This sort of note, claiming that we're all liars, is just starting to feel like more harrassment.
Why are you ignoring the context of what I said before and after? Even suggesting this feels like harassment is insane. I see a lot of interactions between people. I see people being nasty to eachother. Why does no one post some screenshots of how bad it is? Is that REALLY such a crazy thing to ask for?
because: a) we have developed thick skins after months of being on alpha grade clients that barely work b) because it's more fun to quote and ridicule assholes and the best defense is offense
seriously, point b. i am starting to realise just how effective it is when i expose assholes to the public view, they don't want to continue, surprise surprise first thing an abuser does is isolate you
I have no problem with that. People seem to be suggesting that I am defending or supporting any of it. It's fucking dishonest as shit and I won't have it. I have never engaged in any such activity, so to attempt to lump me in the same group is going to get my back up. What I suspect is that some people are conflating people being shitty with targeted repeated harassment of individuals. Since it never shows up in my feeds, I wanted to see some it. And then to suggest that 'feels' like harassment in itself is fucking ridiculous. This really is beside the main point. The blanket approach to try and remedy this is lazy.
LOL I actually have reposted some of the stuff and I report all of it, but the worst stuff was so bad that the media server and relay operators deleted it. I've been asked numerous times to show evidence and each person who asks acts like they're the first one to ask. Check the reports. 🤙
offense is the best defense just quote post them and watch the pile in
So your solution to fight harassment is to... engage with harassers. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
nope, just to make it public directly i don't have many problems with trolls at all, i am building a reputation as a bulldog
i rarely have more than 6 exchanges with scammers on chats elsewhere either before they are mad because i'm provoking them
I don't even know where to look for the reports, but I can do that. Again, please don't be disingenuous here. 1. I purposely do not go seeking out people to prove anything to me, for the very reason that this would be labelled as a form of harassment. 2. I stated I have seen people asking before, and being ignored. Verify, don't trust, innit? What I consider some being a dick someone else may consider harassment. But nothing that has ever show up in my feeds would fall into that category for me, which is exactly why I have asked in the past.
Here's one of the few images, that didn't get deleted, yet. He has a whole series, with different npub's faces, that he drops in their replies. I guess it's supposed to be an advertisement, but I took it badly. 🥴 Delete the space, to see the note. nostr:nevent1qvzqqqqqqypzqzxl89xsqn0zeznl5f7nrzjs696ynkg58dycytpm z5mehgygatavqqs98lwk65p20994u3udlqzmjkjga7n4aa5tuer2amylgfdgx8gatkqe4gg0x
Stop asking me to dig up the crap I've reported and the perverts I've muted. That is all public data. nostr:nevent1qvzqqqqqqypzphtxf40yq9jr82xdd8cqtts5szqyx5tcndvaukhsvfmduetr85ceqqst9h8dsr92hazaq6fwgec56udym55puk8tcty9n66ymhqzqq7sdtcmllcjz
EW. I muted that npub long ago. Definitely no regrets. Fuck that!
Yeah, they're really gross.
i've had about 3 times this kind of nonsense appear in my feed, it's a slap in the face but after it's done a few times next thing you are searching through their post history and looking at their image hosting URLs and thinking about how you might be able to locate them and doxx them
I can't imagine what it's like to be a woman on social media. So many men have lost control of themselves and social media is a place for those types to get away with it in some ways.
You get used to it, eventually, but it grates when people act like you're just making it up. Feels like gaslighting.
It takes a significant amount of awareness and humility to recognize the potential for evil in yourself to understand how so many others succumb to their temptations. The majority of men have to work so hard to stay in control, we refuse to admit that someone else would behave that way because it in fact hits too close to home whether we admit to it or not. Nearly every man is in a constant battle with lust whether they admit to it or not. Most women will never quite understand it. We're different, men and women, not better or worse but different.
I appreciate that, even if I can't really understand it. 🫂
True tho. Men are perverts by default. To judge us or rebel against this fact is escapism. To act out pervert fantasies is just hedonistic and boring. Being at peace with and redirecting one’s inner perv is the real challenge for men in society.
I try to empathize (can't really, to be honest, but I feel like making some effort must count for something), but I often feel under pressure to regulate other people's emotions, and there's a limit to how far I am willing to do that.
I say don't empathize, just block/report the sick bastards
That's easy for you to say, but women on here are judged by how many reports they've written or how long their mute list is. Zero accountability. Null. Zippo. Nada. Nichts. It's always the same sequence: 1) That never happened. You just can't handle a logical argument. 2) Okay, it happened, but you probably deserved it, so stop being an argumentative slut. 3) Okay, maybe nobody deserves it, but you should just get used to it. 4) It's a feature, not a bug.
Are women treated better on X or Bluesky?
Difficult question. 🤔 We're exposed to more abuse from individual characters on Nostr, but we're less likely to have our own account censored or shadowbanned, and the men on Nostr are individually more aggressive and critical toward predatory male behavior from other men. I would say that I am treated better, overall, on Nostr, and feel safer here. But it could still be better. I.e. mutes could be more persistent, someone's reports could be used to train personal spamfilters, deletes could be better-honored by relays, whitelisting for DMs and replies, etc. It's moving in the right direction. And more awareness of the situation, instead of gaslighting, goes a long way to making women feel less persecuted and reducing the intimidation factor. Having everyone say, "Ugh, yes, what a slimeball, ugh, let's all mute/report him. Ick." is actually usually enough to deescalate the situation. Telling her she's a liar and should just grow up, usually escalates. The ole CALM DOWN. Yeah, girls dig that. 👍
the technology is still very embryonic, but such things as personal relays go a long way to this end, and nobody (aside from my ideation) has thought much about the idea of how to make it practical i've got much work to do yet, probably some fun bullshit involving writing code to try and suck up all the events on the network efficiently, but probably not that complicated to do, and doing an actual service that enables such personal relays as a simple network proxying and VPN rental situation will go a long way to making that viable, then it can shift the responsibility of persistence to your devices and the devs who build the relays and tooling that you install
What I've noticed, is that the more technical knowledge one of the guys on here has, the less likely he is to say, "We can't do anything about that, grow up or go away, the Internet is full of perverts, stop trying to censor men, this is the end of Nostr, blah blah blah." Normalcy bias is strong with some people and they can't conceive of the next technical innovation.
people with this bias are not creative, and often, not that intelligent when they are intelligent, they are rainman, at best
Yeah. The people coming up with different solutions to this common problem (men have this, too) should just be left alone to tinker, IMO. The ideas will rise and fall on their own merit. I think, for instance, that the tagr bot is a fundamentally flawed design and too intrusive and irritating to become the standard. Also, too one-size-fits-all, which I find incredibly unappealing. Half the npubs I follow are getting tagged. I probably am, too. 🤣 Mute that shit, man. But, hey, let the chips fall, amiright?
What I don't support is anything centralized. One person's spam or troll is another persons' fren or funny post, and my own stuff is getting labeled and tagged ad nauseum, so that's already intrusive enough. The focus needs to be on giving each npub a set of tools to curate their feed and customize their experience on Nostr.
I couldn't imagine judging someone by the amount of people that they decided to mute. I don't know what happened to them?
Nothing, apparently, is the prevailing wisdom. Also note that reports and mutes are usually public and if someone is bothering you, and you report or mute them, that can set them off on a whole campaign, including using automation, so some women prefer to just become very still or abandon their npub. There's a reason why I mostly stick to reading from private/paid relays. I just broadcast to the other ones; I don't look at them. Thar be dragons.
i was today years old when i realized that i can choose what i read and where i write....ahhhh ty ty
On that note … let’s guess what is the primary challenge for women in society?
Figuring out what to wear.
I guess that sounds like a joke, but we're expected to regulate the emotions of everyone around us with our clothes, so getting dressed can be a real chore, until and unless you develop a personal uniform and just give up on the idea that you can keep bad things from happening to you by wearing the ideally-fitted T-shirt.
The battle between good and evil is fought in the heart of every man
I woke up thinking about this because something about it was confusing me. I thought they just sexualize everything because women tend to find that more intimidating and disturbing. I find it weird to think that this is something going on in their own head, that is sort of leaking out under stress. Seems more theatrical, like someone putting on a haunted house to scare little kids.
I knew I could count on you to come through with this. I added a report too. That particular account has only replied to 3 other accounts, so maybe they are more active on their alts. It may be that some of these are already hidden by the time I see them, so I don't end up seeing them at all. My overarching point is that improving tools for individuals would be a better approach to dealing with these accounts rather than blanket bots which affect the rest of the ecosystem. Defaulting to not displaying images in replies unless you follow that account, hiding responses with certain keywords that you can control by default, and so on. If I ignore them they will eventually lose interest because they are seeking a reaction.
We're building such things, but the bot is what he built and everyone is free to subscribe to it or block it. I don't ever see the bot. If we can't stop the enterprising chap who starts marketing Girls of Nostr Gone Wild deepfakes, then other people can't stop the bot that labels those deepfakes. Censorship resistance cuts both ways. 🤷♀️ We all have to just mute and deal with it.
How can you claim to being harassed when you are the one seeking to classify other peoples content and you’re not even in this thread to begin with? Only Rabble’s ideology could open a Pandora’s box this stupid.
