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Notes by Rube Snakehole: Crochet ACTIVIST 🗡️🦀 | export

 He, but yeah. 
 Ah! I was thinking the kid started as a girl 
 Anyone used magnoplasm paste? I think I need it 
 OH SHIT SON Jennifer Bilek is going on Megyn Kelly soon.

I love that our secret lady heroes are getting big platformed. 
 What the hecky is going on with GB News and arrests!?!?! I have mixed feelings about the police showing up over speech. I wish there was something I could say that would make the police show up. 🥁

I've been hearing things about the fines for driving in ulez areas. What a scam. 

I'm still chuckling about Megyn Kelly flipping Ofcom the bird yesterday. What weird times we live in. 

Here we don't get arrested for dodgy speech, you just lose ad money. Same thing, different means. 
 I'm starting a class tonight to kick myself into the next phase of my career and I had that ADHD whiplash. 

I look at my calendar.

💁 My class starts tonight. 

💁 WAIT DOES MY CLASS START TONIGHT? DID I RECORD IT CORRECTLY?

I look it up on the site

💁 Yes, my class starts tonight. 

Oh boy what a journey. When I was younger I used to show up to appointments on the wrong day. The moral of the story is "don't trust yourself, Ms Brain Kitties" D: 
 Does anybody still go to the library?  It seems they are kind of obsolete. 
 My library does a ton of things and has a ton of services. You can check out WiFi hotspots and museum tickets. I borrow audiobooks remotely. I don't think they are 
 This may be a stupid question, but why did she turn to him and not you? Or is he closer to her wo... 
 Also let's be honest. Do you want to live with your brain damaged father or your insane libertarian pipe smoking carnivore mother? What a wealth of choices my child has. 

In my defense I waited to go really ham with my lifestyle and my sharing my actual political opinions until she and her father were grown up. When she was younger I just wanted things to be nice and normal and for her to eat vegetables, do her homework, floss. Ya know. 
 ~Brunch~ with Rube Jr yesterday. She's living with her father again within the past week because her roommates suddenly broke their lease without consulting/informing her and she had to jump. 

"My dad is so much FUN," she said while we perused the menu. 

"What, really?" I said.

"NO." 

(I thought maybe he was back on meds for a second.) 

She told me about how a couple of days ago she and the other library assistant tackled another restroom overdose and how she was holding this guy's head in her lap and then the paramedics narcaned him. 

(We saw him crossing the street later as I was on my way to dropping her off. "Oh there's that patron I was telling you about. It's good he's up and around I guess.") 

"So I'm thinking about how this had happened at work," she continued, "And he's spending an hour ranting about what's going on with the wifi. Does not ask me about my day." 

"Yeah. I'm sorry. And if you tell him about your day he won't remember any of it. I drank a lot when you were little. But I'm not recommending that." 

She laughed. "I think about you when he's unloading on me. His problems in his cushy tech job." 

"Yep, the daily download. So boring."

So far he is mad at her for using the curbside trash can, which she did not fill up after her move and there's plenty of room in because he takes his trash to work with him to throw out. Again, he is not using this city service that he pays for but chooses instead to bicycle trash to his job every day.

He is also throwing her clean laundry on the floor instead of transferring it to a basket. Living with him is like living with a bad roommate who hates you. 

I hope he carks it on one of his trash bicycle safaris and she inherits his house. 
 And having two sets of genes probably plays a part. 
 Oh wow did not think of this! 
 There's several ways to construct a sweater, but currently I'm making a cardigan that's in the vest stage. I'll crochet sleeves into it next, but it's so funny to me that when I make a vest and check it for fit I want to barf myself inside out because crocheted vests are from Satan but add sleeves: so cute! Ahaha 
 Oh man. I have to stop asking for recs on Reddit. Let's say I asked for a local store that sells athletic wear. My criteria would be the goods sold, that it be locally owned, they sell goods for ladies. Maybe I have a funny dealbreaker, like I never bicycle so I don't want that gear. 

The responses always break down like this:

-why do you want that? Terrible idea
-Amazon link 
-store that specializes in bicycle gear only
-store that caters only to men
-remember that one store that used to be on that one street, too bad it closed in 1987
-earnest recommendation for store that only sells kitchen goods
-you should get a real hobby
-store on the other side of my state/in Portland "it's worth the drive, man!!"
-people yelling at the people who have given poor advice but not actually offering good advice

-one answer that is actually helpful, followed by:
-that store is too expensive/they wouldn't take my ratty return with no receipt/the owner is a bitch 
 Well, it is said that we should go with our strengths. Trudeau's is being an idiot. 
 At least once a month I think of him and fervently hope he'll grow the Castro beard. I need to see it 
 So it's Truth and Reconciliation Day here in Canada. Weirdly absent is the truth about all the Tw... 
 I heard Trudeau apologizing to the alphabet soup gang for applauding a Nazi. He included two spirit people, who both super existed in Germany in the 20th century and were famously persecuted 🙄

I really wish our president was more entertaining like Trudeau. We just have mild racism, stumbling, and elder abuse. Trudeau is hogging all the good rakes to step on! 
 I know that studies build on studies, so this is a finding. I want to race to the end of the book and know WHY! Why do women react differently to so many drugs? 
 The cult scenes were hard to read. Book is worth it tho. 
 Yeah it's a big yikes! I'm about 12 hours in (audiobook). 
 The new Robert Galbraith has made me cry twice already and I'm only about a 1/5 through it. 

Without spoiling anything, the main plot involves cults and I'm reading too far into it because there's a lot of discussion of mind control in it and I'm like mmhmm JK I see you subtwixing the poor social media sheep hahaha 
 I know I've said similar before but I was thinking about how I was out a couple of months ago with acquaintances and one lady was asking me who I had a crush on when I was a kid and she started talking about Duran Duran. It made me think about how my friends had crushes and I was like "maybe they have yet to invent the bohunk I will be into" as a child. 

Meanwhile I would spend so much time thinking about Nicolette Sheridan and counted down to Knots Landing every week LMAO. I had no clue and yet all the clues? 
 Holy shit!! I've never seen one of those. Reminds me of the last thing Wayne Knight saw in Jurassic Park. I love it. 

I think the weirdest thing in my yard is maybe a medlar tree? I also have a green coneflower that I love. That is next level! 
 Other than mast cell stuff are you ok? 
 Oh yeah I am thanks! A tiny bit of neck soreness today that I can tell was tension, not a snapping motion. I've had similar neck soreness after a lovely day in court. But I get stressed and my cells explode. Fainting goat Rube. 😴

Mostly I'm sad about my car. I've had it for 20 years and I'm way too emotionally attached to it. I hope they can fix my trunk!  Dude was probably going about 30 mph? This was the first year the Civic got a steel roll cage. It's my lil tank in a sea of SUVs. 

I've stopped sadsacking and have gotten up. Better outlook now that I have a mug of my favorite coffee and I realized I can sit on my porch and smoke my pipe and wait for the sun to come up. If it comes up... Fall is here 😆

https://media.spinster.xyz/f99f692b5a7ccc19362363e124ded0dd5b5f5dfa4e3502e0d7b178abcc106f7a.jpg 
 I kinda need to go to Costco (as in, I’m out of one or two things I could just as well get at t... 
 Oh MAN I have these Costco talks with myself. I used to mostly buy beef there but I'm about to completely fill my freezer with local beef. 

I'm doing this math today... Going to the butcher's down south... Might as well stop at the tobacco shop down there. And what else?

What plant are you looking for? 

I just brought a mess of my grapes in to work and one of the HVAC service guys is an amateur vintner and informed me I have gewurztraminer, not rando snacking grapes. So I'm thinking my local nursery is crap? Haha 
 Woke up before alarm, called off to get more sleep (mast cell meltdown after car crash), did not go back to sleep. 

I guess I'll get up and drink my autobrewed coffee since I just heard the warmer shut off.  😆

I've decided to be productive today by picking up my side of beef midday. I can do it after work but this will be better.

https://media.spinster.xyz/b563c61c3115015b6fd5cfea96af9691689a8fbd7e5c5e6dff9cc32f97a47197.png 
 Body decided to wake up after four hours of sleep and I'm seriously considering taking a sick day. One of those nights where every time I drift off I get one of those hypnagogic flashes that snaps me awake again. 
 Oh, god, just leave things alone! 
 I'm going to assume it's non-binary. 
 No, it's uwu and the lesbians like it. 
 Seriously this is reminding me of that weird red nose trend from a couple of years ago the youths were doing 
 Lordy doo let's address that rosacea please 
 FDR served the king and queen hot dogs. 
 Oh boy the hardware store is open. I have to get a new tick tester after giving my other one to Rube Jr. Replacing a very dead porch light today 
 I fell down the voluntary castration rabbithole last night and my pain is your something to scroll past quickly.

RubeWOW LLC is proud to present Magina by Category!! With absolutely NO ACCOMPANYING ILLUSTRATIONS! You're welcome. 

1. Sasscrotch 🌲🌲🌲🛸
Hmm, this appears to be a decent facsimile of a vulva but something looks...off. Blurry? Dirty? "ENHANCE!" you cry, which you know you will regret instantly. Aha. The entire vulva is completely covered with hair, including the inner lips and "clitoris." The phrase "a picnic covered in ants" popped into my head unbidden. 

2. Kilroy was Here aka "The footlong" 🌭
Another rendition of "technically this is a vulva," this version is distinguished by being extremely wide, long, and somehow sausagey. Less the natural vulvar shape and more a three side-by-side "tubes" config. They really do evoke hotdogs in buns. TOO POOFY, NEXT

3. Debbie Does Decal 🔍
This is the "painted on" vulva. To say it lacks dimension is an understatement. Like the cheapest IKEA feather pillow, there's not much by the way of poof or volume at all. "Does anyone see a clitoris here?" one man asked in desperate sincerity after posting his. NOT POOFY ENOUGH, NEXT

4. Baby Splice 🔬
It's a little bitty weenie vulva. A Fisher-Price My First Vulva if you will. And it's sitting on a big old man mound so it's not fooling anyone. Why is it so tiny? Was it the starting "material" that caused this? Oof my bad sir. 

Related Subcategory: I understand that human beings can be wildly asymmetrical, but it seems that these tiny tweeters are more likely to be offset to one side or the other. So not only cartoonishly small but crooked. ??? 

5. Phantom of the Crotchra 🌟🎶
Uh oh. You're how far post-op? I guess those scars aren't going anywhere at this point. Yikes. May I suggest a wee mask of some kind? For either end. 🎭 

6. The Large Marge 🚛😱

"On this very night, ten years ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this..."

If your selfie suddenly makes me want Korean BBQ, lawyer up. That lawsuit isn't going to file itself, sir. 

https://youtu.be/lPMSGTfK4Aw 
 Lol the hands 
 When they remake Inception it's just going to be 90 minutes of trying to look at everyone's hands 
 Most of the troons in the comments told him his mother was guilty of child abuse for witholding h... 
 I went down the rabbithole and he is also posting about men staring at his boobs, even though he's pre-estrogen? These boys are cracked 
 nostr:npub1m84q83gh4fkpzv6f4shl9d2hf5zvp468qqg7c36gvehn0uydr5qqh7mutq 

Time reveals everything. 
 Yeah and timing is everything. I don't think this would have happened if we weren't in this very particular point in history. Ugh 
 Taylor Lorenz flogging her forthcoming book. WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?? I could listen to this but I'd probably spontaneously shit out my intestines

https://media.spinster.xyz/2fa4d106f46c910b759a50842d7051db7089fc7ee3aea1c063aec3bdaad12a96.jpg 
 Out with a whimper...my friend who I met in blogworld back in the early aughts. We stayed in regular touch and saw each other through the late teens despite her living in California. We got more distant around 2018 as I was constantly managing my ex's increasing cognitive problems and trying to get through my apprenticeship. 

She's always been a well meaning sweet leftist type. I've always been more of a free thinker (asshole) and became more staunchly feminist as I got older. 

I started seeing on insta that her middle daughter was beginning to transition. I didn't know exactly what that meant at the time and wasn't going to ask her. Then the (clothed) celebratory mastectomy picture got posted. By this time I had pretty much noped out of Instagram and would just peek at it occasionally.

It is so weird to meet someone as a baby, watch them grow up, and then this. The young woman may be happy as is forever, who knows. But it was obvious to me when she was in her teens that she was on the spectrum and seemed like she was/going to be a lesbian. 

I don't think my friend is one of those "I'm a cool rainbow mom" types. She's on the spectrum too and has bought in to the idea that this is absolutely the correct thing and how you address being different. 

I got a text from her a couple of months ago which I didn't open and another last night. I finally blocked her. I have nothing to say and the damage is done to her daughter. I can't pretend to be happy for them if we talked again. I would choke on the words. 😑 
 @HebrideanUltraTerfHecate Ok I might be confused, but did you post a no-churn ice cream recipe recently? I believe it had coffee flavor? 
 Wow! For me that would be a "neigh" (get it because bridle) because of Edith's short snoot.  I have a little straightjacket style harness but I don't need to control her head. She is a puller. I got the chest point attachment one and she would just walk sideways so the little jacket is best. What are you looking to do with the president? Nice walking? 
 Rube Jr was talking about how her father wants to do many things but is paralyzed by the fear of climate change. He is afraid to even own a cat because they're "bad for the environment." This motherfucker couldn't even get the recycling sorting right. (I did not say this)

"If you're worried about the environment, the best thing you can do is drop dead in a field," she concluded.

"...And rot naturally, but you're full of microplastics."

"And take at least five people out with you."

You only get one life--own a cat 
 Ooohwee my local half beef order is in. Hanging weight 265 or about 9 cats if you're using spinster units 
 I'm thinking about kiwi farms being down... The internet was a much more overtly mean place 10-15 years ago. I'm thinking of gawker, whole forums devoted to talking shit about celebs from Britney to bloggers. Even reddit was very mean. I miss the pants-on-head-crazy of r/TheDonald. 

Somewhere in there the tide turned and became about identity and beliefs. I have no clue how people on Fametracker voted. We were all united to discuss the wigs on Alias. People routinely have fits and police speech on the most innocuous subreddits now. 

Why? Why did the board change and you're now allowed to be as nasty as you like towards people the media says we hate, and scream them down if they present a well-reasoned rebuttal? Why is it now suddenly ok to covertly attack people for language and beliefs, but you can't have a debate? We've really lost something. 
 nostr:npub1m84q83gh4fkpzv6f4shl9d2hf5zvp468qqg7c36gvehn0uydr5qqh7mutq 

Back before it was unpoli... 
 nostr:npub1m84q83gh4fkpzv6f4shl9d2hf5zvp468qqg7c36gvehn0uydr5qqh7mutq 

and transphones 
 Watson I need you in a dress 
 I hearby decree that you're allowed to make memes once you've mastered apostrophes and homophones. 
 I will title these forgs

1. Post office closed for no reason; missed return window

2. Honey Smacks tasted better before

3. Why did I say that at Toad's birthday

nostr:note1adq53p6wjyc5wdjq3a89c0tac5rqq2mdfyrhwrlz0hfnew6gs7xskrr28k 
 Oh god this is reminding me of being on a plane two years ago and the flight attendants explicitly threatening to come inside any blankets or sleep hoods to check if we were under mask compliance ahahaha 
 I'm tinting my hair and it's almost bedtime and now I don't want to take a shower. If I go to bed like this when I wake up my bed will look like a crime scene

Spontaneous laziness 
 I wonder if more decisions were made directly by the President Obama, who was sharp and bright an... 
 Obama was a warhawk, so points against personally. I get that the US is in the business of war. If it wasn't Ukraine it would be whatever cause we could enmesh ourselves in first to pump money out of that situation. 

That said, I think Obama was qualified, and participated in decision making, as well as surrounding himself by good advisors in consideration of his aims. 

I don't have rose colored glasses about any former president, but one underplayed thing I found extremely impressive was when the Obama admin rounded up all the disused government properties, put them up for sale, and created a simple Zillow-type website to sell them off. The attempt to eliminate government waste AND raise money in any way other than stealing from taxpayers....👩‍🍳👄

He's what we should expect and demand in a leader. Roosevelt was out there with his Rough Riders and Andrew Jackson was engaging in pistolas at dawn. To give an example from the last 100 years, at least HW was a career spook and avoided anyone twigging to that for way too long. Well done. 

I hear every president gets read in and learns some bonkers shit which may influence their policy, but I agree about your AI point. Biden is just doing exactly whatever his handlers tell him to. Maybe he was what the US wanted to steer us out of the covid situation, but ugh. My friends called me excitedly after the 2020 election and asked what I thought... My thought was his first act was to sign an executive order to rawdog Title 9. They did not want to hear about that. Unfair, since I had to listen to four years of Trump Derangement Syndrome.

(Slightly edited for cohesiveness) 
 Whether you are a pacifist or not I think most can agree that the Vietnam War sounded harrowing for lower-level personnel on all sides. I feel so badly for this brave veteran who was awarded by President Scrambles. 

I also think someone, anyone needs to take mercy on the president, who has been, I will say (derisively) a career politician and chronic fabulist. People with dementia deserve a dignified retirement with appropriate care. 

A not Infrequent thought I have is the hope that if I lose the battle against head kitties someone will say good morning to me, give me a nice glass of pureed steak, and let me wander safely in a garden. No one should end like this. 

Every time I hear one of these incidents now I just hear the Curb theme, but playing in a sad slow minor. 

https://nypost.com/2023/09/05/biden-blasted-for-walking-out-before-end-of-medal-of-honor-ceremony/by 
 The truth is in the magic forms floating in the ether. Reality is just an ugly copy, corrupted by... 
 I blame those rich philosophers North of Athens 
 These policies about notifying parents when kids “change pronouns” are making my head spin.  ... 
 Shouldn't teachers of all people be telling the TRUTH? 
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 It looks like we're seeing it now? 
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 Ah lovely! Feels like a lonely place 
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 I have exhausted all medical avenues for real for real. I had a good doctor who actually pushed me to go and get officially diagnosed (protective against insurance bullshit). Corn isn't really recognized as an allergen in the US by insurance companies so my only barrier is that sometimes they want to push me onto cheaper drugs with corn incipients.

This is why I don't talk about this a ton, because I've done my legwork and tested myself on all kinds of things. It's just kind of the tedium of being low-key chronically ill. I'm sure no other women can relate to this 🤣

It's just new to be meh about food so I had to say something to the void. Thanks, voidfriend, for answering. 
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 Thanks! The salesbros are trying to talk me into a sciencecar but they can shove their Teslas up their asses 
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