I fell down the voluntary castration rabbithole last night and my pain is your something to scroll past quickly.

RubeWOW LLC is proud to present Magina by Category!! With absolutely NO ACCOMPANYING ILLUSTRATIONS! You're welcome. 

1. Sasscrotch 🌲🌲🌲🛸
Hmm, this appears to be a decent facsimile of a vulva but something looks...off. Blurry? Dirty? "ENHANCE!" you cry, which you know you will regret instantly. Aha. The entire vulva is completely covered with hair, including the inner lips and "clitoris." The phrase "a picnic covered in ants" popped into my head unbidden. 

2. Kilroy was Here aka "The footlong" 🌭
Another rendition of "technically this is a vulva," this version is distinguished by being extremely wide, long, and somehow sausagey. Less the natural vulvar shape and more a three side-by-side "tubes" config. They really do evoke hotdogs in buns. TOO POOFY, NEXT

3. Debbie Does Decal 🔍
This is the "painted on" vulva. To say it lacks dimension is an understatement. Like the cheapest IKEA feather pillow, there's not much by the way of poof or volume at all. "Does anyone see a clitoris here?" one man asked in desperate sincerity after posting his. NOT POOFY ENOUGH, NEXT

4. Baby Splice 🔬
It's a little bitty weenie vulva. A Fisher-Price My First Vulva if you will. And it's sitting on a big old man mound so it's not fooling anyone. Why is it so tiny? Was it the starting "material" that caused this? Oof my bad sir. 

Related Subcategory: I understand that human beings can be wildly asymmetrical, but it seems that these tiny tweeters are more likely to be offset to one side or the other. So not only cartoonishly small but crooked. ??? 

5. Phantom of the Crotchra 🌟🎶
Uh oh. You're how far post-op? I guess those scars aren't going anywhere at this point. Yikes. May I suggest a wee mask of some kind? For either end. 🎭 

6. The Large Marge 🚛😱

"On this very night, ten years ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this..."

If your selfie suddenly makes me want Korean BBQ, lawyer up. That lawsuit isn't going to file itself, sir. 

https://youtu.be/lPMSGTfK4Aw 

 I usually scroll past everything butchery-related but this was somehow entertaining