@92892b15 "No, it doesn't clean you any better than other toilet paper. In fact, it's so cheap you have to use 3x as much, but that just means you get the jokes quicker! If you want the 'good stuff', it's 100x as much for a 0.01% improvement in absorbancy. The jokes on that paper are actually worse, but you won't care, you'll be too busy with your intended business. Still, how can you pass up the chance to wipe your ass on 'BOB'!?"
#SubGenius #SqueezablyFresh #MrWhippleRollsInHisGrave
@92892b15 I was a poor Po'bucker raising weeds in BumFuck, Ohio...until, one day, I found a pamphlet telling me my soul could be saved BY SENDING A STRANGER MONEY!
I sold a bushel of rocks, sent off the fee, and got back a MIND-WARPING packet of Religious Iconography. More than I ever got from my philosophy degree!
Now, I farm hapless dupes who PAY ME to tell them what to think and worship me as a GOD! Unlimited SEX, DRUGS, & MONEY are mine -- without even asking!
#SubGenius #GiveMeSlackOrKillMe
#MondayActionMovie
According to IMDB, in his Razzies acceptance speech, "writer" [sic] Nick Davis said "I didn't _steal_ anything! Their called 'story beats', asshole!"
Nick likely never got the ass-beating he so richly deserved, but, then again, he had to put his name on this movie. So karma kinda evens it out.
I'm not sure _why_ this needs to be said in 2023, but: for all you breakfast sandwich makers out there -- I'm staring directly into your eyes, Jimmy Dean -- the cheese goes BETWEEN the egg and the meat, NOT the egg & the bread! 😬
Say it with me: "cheese between means extra gooey; cheese against bread equals death!"
#ProperFoodPrepPreventsPissPoorBreakfast #CookingAdviceFromANonCook
@aba3e4c9 Guess it depends on how you look at why they wouldn't: I did it once, a long, long, long time ago, then realized it was better & safer to adopt a "nom de nets".
Besides, "Kingstrum" is easier to spell than "George Lenin Cohen Malik Augustus Windsor Smyth, V"...
#Anonymous #Nothing2Hide #TheOTHERWindsor #Error2TheThrone #ItsStillMe
@Alice
* A dirty mind
* A filthy mouth
* A wicked twinkle in her eyes
* A desire to use it all to drain us both of all available fluids
...but then again, it's only 10pm here.
#SexIsMentalTheRestIsBonus
@30443b74@669563d8 NAS? Oooooo, I thought it was a can of NOS! No wonder my car is in the shop...sodium monosulfide is, apparently, not good for automotive engines.
Lesson learned.
#IAintNoGreaseMonkey #BleedingHeadGoodHealedHeadBad
A SubGenius with Slack is like a woman with big boobs or a man with a big penis: they know what they have and they're only too happy to show it off, if only to make everyone else jealous.
As we say in the Burning Temple of the Titanium Buddha: Rock out with your Slack out!
#SubGenius #SoberThoughts #DesperatelyPuttingOffExercise #8InchesOfSlack #MySlackIsThickAsABrick
@Nina Paley I'm fairly certain white chocolate is mentioned in that most dread of tomes, The Necronomicon, as a harbinger of Yog-Sothoth. It acts as a micro-black hole to let the Outer Chaos seep in, just really, really slowly.
Obviously the counter-agent is the darkest of dark chocolates. Bitter to the point of warping ones mind around the concepts of space-time, entropy, & adjustable-rate mortgages.
#OuterGodsAndElderCandies #12thDimensionalConfections #TheSecretIngrediantIsInsanity
@a10ca68c You include the handcuff key? Kinky!
I leave paper clips around the place and challenge myself to up my lock-picking game.
#Kinks #PoliteRestraint #LockpickingSkillz #NotJustTheBedroom
@aba3e4c9@4b16f0b6 "Hence forth, by order of His Majesty the King, 'solar power' shall be known as 'white power'...and yes, he is aware of the inference, but He is above such trivialities."
#AlternativeEnergy #WhyYouGottaBeLikeThat #HRHIsDownWithTheKids
@205381b6 Related to the chestnut, maybe?
As noted previously, pretty sure you could use them for a tea or coffee(?!), but these days the processing was just intensive enough to not be worth it. Can't find it, but seem to recall chicory and the like replacing it, since they didn't require the same work to make potable (depending on your opinions regarding "coffee substitutes".)
Might look through archive.org or Google Books for old recipes books, might be something for a cake/cookie/pie?
@205381b6@a3323535 I noticed that earlier and since non-instance feeds kept coming in, I assumed that was the "new way" of things.
I shall alter my viewing habits accordingly.
Many thanks!
@aba3e4c9 I have been known to "experiment" in my "laboratory" now and then. Little known issue: DNA only has four "letters" -- T, A, G, C -- but you can assemble them into so many different combinations it can take a long, long, looooooooong time to get just what you want out of it.
While I thought she had other good qualities, unfortunately, the experiment with "crab pincer hands" had to be dropped for obvious(?) reasons.
#LoveIsAnExperiment #BuildYourLust #MindTheSharpBits
I like my coffee like I like my women: mind-warpingly kinky & full of writhing tentacles.
#SubGenius #KinkyIsAsIDo #PrairieSquidPleasurePods #ICantBelieveItsNotHuman #StickItWhereItFeelsGood
@a124ac82@92892b15 Can't wait to see how our Digital Overlords handle spamming, short-selling, & abusing each other over their version of "social media". At current CPU speeds, it'll take less than 4 seconds, the machines grind to a halt trying to build a self-replicating virus, & we move on.
The only question that matters regarding (so-called) "A.I.": how long will it take them to discover "BOB"? Will HE (SLACK Be Upon "HIM") be the ultimate "monkey wrench" that saves us (again)?
#SubGenius ##
@efa2e20e In defense of the UK's version of the "Grand Old Party": Labour (the UK equivalent of US Democrats & Greens) not only take the abuse, but kinda seem to like it. They've decided to throw trash from the cheap seats and tweet mean things at the "fuddy-duddies" than step up and lead.
Always find it funny when UK folks tell me how horrible the US "two party system" is without noticing the plank in their own eye.
Lose the King, then we can talk.
#LibDemsAintNoThang #PoliticiansTheWorldOverSuck
@aba3e4c9 That's what makes us so fun at parties:
"Pardon me, but would you like to see how much bigger my subjunctive scaling is compared to the arithmetic mean?"
"Can I rub my divisor on your vectors?"
"Hey baby, what's your cosine?"
#ChicksDigMyBigFatBrain #MySmartestPartIsInMyPants #ItsMathNotMaths #IsThatACompassInYourPocketOrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe
Yes, I know she's a human/spider-goddess hybrid...
Yes, I know that the only way the relationship ends with my dry, withered husk draped over the back of her headboard...
Yes, I am aware it violates some basic laws of nature & human decency...
But how can I pass up the opportunity to tell her to "back that thorax up & git some lovin'!" when her mating tentacles quiver?
#SubGenius #IDidItAllForTheSpooky #StickMyWhatWhere #DivergentBioFunkiness #PrairieSquidLover #EldritchSuperFreak
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