Oddbean new post about login | logout My wife agrees—the 'baby pressure' is constant and overwhelming, especially from family members. No one has ever asked me when we’re having babies; it’s always directed at her. nostr:nevent1qqs9uy2j0v8hz62udferd9l8l8jyatjfhnz0wp65vr3wael6fqj3ywspzdmhxue69uhhwmm59e6hg7r09ehkuef0qgs9k2f9t4024t44wa2jhux3zqcrwm6805v6qzw97k5qmhrn6jf4nasrqsqqqqqptjcuee
Because you should have babies. What are you waiting for?
The AI to take over so we don't need more humans.
So, your saying, it isn't because you refused to help with the housework more? Sort of counters her point.
In this house, there no "refuse to help". We don't builshit each other.
The point being that her positive personal situation hasn't made your wife suddenly more eager to reproduce. If she wanted kids, she'll want them, regardless. If not, then not. The OP is not supported by demographic studies.
No, the point is that after a decision is made (to not have kids - for any reason, preference or economic/career) everybody else feels the need to put pressure and change that without offering any significant advantages to the woman. Governments, family, society, nostr, etc.
I live in a country that bends over backward to parents in general, and even more so for women. Has no effect, other than to encourage fertile foreign women to move here and mooch. People who don't breed go extinct. That is not my problem or my responsibility; it's evolution.
Agreed.
Exactly the reason for having babies .. that is the most sophisticated AI :-) A human brain has 1000 x more parameters (synases) than chatGPT3 right at the birth ! To run such a model on silicon , you would probably need more power than entire bitcoin network ..
Legit all we need is free markets with Bitcoin as the monetary layer. AI is just a neat bonus, and should never be in charge any more than humans.
This the entirely wrong way to look at having children. Having children is the ultimate ambition for both sexes. Your stupid office job deminishes your ambition. Not child rearing.
I hope you agree that I am free to choose to not having any child ever.
Not a big loss for humanity. Thank you for Amethyst though.
I will give you an AI smarter than any human before I die. Just to compensate.
Your life, your choice!! Kids can be great, better than you can imagine. But so can most things. Your choice 🤙
Of course you are. But I'm also of the opinion that for the vast majority of people that choose that, are selfish and making a terrible decision. I would agree you should be free to do heroin too. That doesn't make the decision to do heroin any less of a bad decision.
The good thing is that in this case your opinion/judgment is irrelevant. And voicing it out loud is only making us (and millions of people out there) go more against your opinion.
Are you going to not reproduce even harder, now, in protest?
How is being selfish making a bad decision for yourself? I think you're using the wrong word there. "Myopic" would have been a stronger argument. Also, one person is not most people. Why do you care if this one guy is choosing dev work over dad work?
I did say most people. I never said everyone. A generalization of literally yeah everyone would be a ridiculous argument. I didn't think it needed clarification. Dad work is more important than dev work though.
I'm just saying that because of that fact, it's pointless to argue for Vitor to have kids, which is what you're effectively doing, which is counterproductive when you haven't even shown that you'll respect his decision. You sound like a dick. I've made the same mistake many times, so believe me, I know this pushes people away.
Absolutely wrong way to look at things. Women feel happier and more fifilled after having a few kids and staying home. Completely changes the way their mind works. Men have to make them feel safe to quit their job to get barefoot and pregnant
And you don't understand why?
Yeah people are fucking terrible.
Just look at the comments to my post.. everyone just trying to convince us to have babies.
Yeah it's pretty crazy. Irrational people. Most people are, sadly. I still catch myself doing the same kind of thing, but at least I understand why I don't need to pressure people to conform to my conception of what's optimal. Not everyone has to be the same.
This is so true. Ultimately, it is a reflection of a patriarchal culture in most contemporary societies.
How ? having babies is literally matriarchy .. kids always listen to moms ..no matter what sacrifice a dad does ! ask yourself .. no matter what gender of kids ..
1. My comment is not about biology. 2. Why do you think children listen more to their mothers?
1 . what is it about ? 2. I have 2
1. It is a biological fact that women gestates children. 2. Glad to know! However, you didn’t answer my question.
1. You said it is NOT biology and then you gave a biological fact ! 2. Because mothers care more for children .. look at any of your pets :-)
1. This was an extension of my first answer. Again, my *original* note was not about biology. Do you want a full explanation of what a patriarchal culture is? I could share information about it if you want to know and learn more about it. 2. Can fathers do the same things as mothers?
Yup and the peer pressure is failing miserably. Bullying only reinforces women's decision to avoid this
Humans are good, that's why we wanna make more. But if you don't believe that, it makes sense why you wouldn't want to make any. I guess your original point of only your wife getting pressured to have kids has now shifted, as lots of people in these comments have told you to have them too 🤣
I believe humans are good. That doesn't mean I want to make them.
I'm glad. I saw your comment about waiting for AI to take over so there was no need for more humans, so it sounded like you may not think humans are good. I'm glad I was wrong.
Humans are just this intermediary limited civilization that existed between the dinosaurs and whatever comes next.
Me like nostr:nevent1qqsyqmx2vrkddslx5yqr306fdddd7pr9kcx2r85enn7cv3x9fue4s9cpz9mhxue69uhkummnw3ezuamfdejj7q3qgcxzte5zlkncx26j68ez60fzkvtkm9e0vrwdcvsjakxf9mu9qewqxpqqqqqqzm8yxt4
IDK, my wife just told me that we will have kids. I was not really a part of any discussion about that 😂
We are counting on you. Don't fuck this up.
I might have used a wrong tense. They're 10 and 8 yrs old now 😂
Here is some sage advice. If you are both married and you love each other with a positive relationship. As well as being able to afford the startup and maintenance costs of having a child. You should start now. While you are still young and have the energy. Start having unprotected sex daily. Give her the Pamplona baby gravy. Start the next generation of Nostr developed geniuses now. Once one is born. Wait 2 years. Do it all over again. Don't stop until you reach a satisfactory number of children that ensures your legacy thrives for thousands of years. You don't want to both be in your 30's and 40's trying to have the same level of energy required to keep up with a toddler. Fuck what society is trying to brainwash you into not doing. Their intentions are not virtuous. My advice however is. Good luck, have fun, and Godspeed. Just not too fast if you know what I mean lol.
> Their intentions are not virtuous. My advice however is. Lol.
Yeah. On one hand the whole society is super individual, basically set to be a worker, clog in machine. An on the other hand you can't totally deny biology, so everyone is expecting you to have a babies. But almost nowhere and no one is creating kids friendly society (clans, big families living together etc., etc.) where families have environment of general support and they can share the "burden" with others.