Oddbean new post about login | logout I see people and whole countries freaking out about low birth rates and trying to come up with ways to get women to have more babies… Why don’t you just make it not a shitty deal for women? Instead of trying to shame women into giving up all that they are to produce children, why don’t we make the world friendlier to parents and families? A why not get fathers more involved? This way women can have children and still participate in the world! That might actually work. But if you just keep asking women to give up all of their humanity besides this one part of it, if you ask them to give up all of their ambitions in life for children… they are going to keep opting out.
My wife agrees—the 'baby pressure' is constant and overwhelming, especially from family members. No one has ever asked me when we’re having babies; it’s always directed at her. nostr:nevent1qqs9uy2j0v8hz62udferd9l8l8jyatjfhnz0wp65vr3wael6fqj3ywspzdmhxue69uhhwmm59e6hg7r09ehkuef0qgs9k2f9t4024t44wa2jhux3zqcrwm6805v6qzw97k5qmhrn6jf4nasrqsqqqqqptjcuee
Women don't "opt out" of babies. Some of them just aren't having sex with a man whose babies they desire.
Industrialism has fragmented the household, first taking men out of the home, then taking women and children out of the home. Preindustrial life is not one we should try to go back to, but retrieving a preindustrial household structure is the best of all worlds. A structure where the household is the economic base and where whole families are involved in the life of the home and productive domesticity, and where both parents are involved in child rearing. This is more possible for people to achieve now that it has been in at least a century. As an aside, I get what you are saying circumstantially, but caution you against the postindustrial, feminist, and fiat thinking that women "give up all of their humanity" to have children. That is a false and ahistoric perspective, as well as contrary to a woman's glory. On a practical level women can still be productive and active members of society while being mothers.
I agree, I'm probably gonna get called a statist for this but I think any nation serious about increasing birth rates should be giving: - 100% paid mat leave for at least 1 year - 100% paid pat leave for at least 1 year - 100% protections to people while on said leaves (except if say the company is going bankrupt) This will create incentives to have more kids. Certainly some people will abuse it and constantly be pregnant and paid their full salary. And I'm sure whenever a case like that will happen, the news will vilify this kind of policy and make the issue out to be way more widespread than it will likely be. There can probably be some sort of investigation process for that. But even then, birth rates would go up.
While I was dating, I was very picky. I had no desire to be a mom with a husband who babysits. I wanted a father to my children! When I met my now husband, he talked about wanting to live off of passive income in order to be able to stay home with his kids, to be able to drop everything and go on adventures or simply play with them whenever they wanted. To be involved in homeschooling them. I needed less than 68 days from the first date to know I had found someone amazing and worth going into a life long covenant with, and married him on that day! Mom's never have to give up everything to be a mom, and some women's highest desire is to be a mom, but there's always more to life. However, those of us who want a more rounded life can totally gave that, if we pick good men who wants to be dads! Make being a dad cool again. But also, women have a huge role in saying what she wants, making deals instead of just complaining, telling him why she wants certain things and how they contribute to her. If you tell a man how he can win with you, and praise him when he does those things, he'll wanna do them without you ever needing to ask again, but it's okay always good to still ask, as you're inviting him into intimacy.
Thank you!!!!! nostr:nevent1qqs9uy2j0v8hz62udferd9l8l8jyatjfhnz0wp65vr3wael6fqj3ywspzdmhxue69uhk7enxvd5xz6tw9ec82c30qgs9k2f9t4024t44wa2jhux3zqcrwm6805v6qzw97k5qmhrn6jf4nasrqsqqqqqpyw6tul
It's full of fathers around but they you need to respect them and not treat men as objects that bring money and have no rights..women do not want babies because it's hard. Because they need to be responsible and adult and stop acting like teenagers. Very few want that.
I don't think any reasonable man would ask a woman they loved to give up everything. If they did dump them. Children and family become the priority but there's plenty of room within that for more, fiat makes it hard tho. Women are terrified of becoming unappreciated housewives but men are terrified of marrying a cold disloyal feminist. Somewhere is the middle is fine.
Women have always participated in the world. It has only recently become a thing to only consider activities that you get paid for as worthwhile. Children don’t occupy women to the exclusion of all else. Kids are not a shitty deal. And kids grow up. Then you can still do all the ambitious stuff.
The way we raise kids now, with one woman alone in a house with toddlers and babies all day, is not at all healthy. It's isolating, it causes depression, etc. Adults need other adults, and intellectual stimulation. We need to change our ideas about child raising.
We are having our first child soon, and I agree to a degree with some of the issues you mentioned that lifestyle could cause. Who are the options for rearing a child? Parents Elder relative Stranger
0-7 mother is best. 8-18, nothing better than a father’s tough love.
Agreed. Women are happiest when having a bunch of kiddos. So many unhappy women with few/no kids but are “successful” because they live a man’s lifestyle, and act like men. Very sad (mostly an urban thing, but that’s 90% of the population now)
It’s isolating if you only have one or 2 kids…there is just not enough to keep your brain and body busy. Have 4,5, or 6 kids…she won’t be bored and lonely
Who the hell wants to work? That's insanity and no way to live. The goal should be to work as little as possible, grow and raise a healthy family, and relax as you see fit.
Shitty deal? Give up all that they are? You take pride in this selfish psycho deception? We are talking about perhaps the greatest aspect of life, literally the manifestation of fulfillment, and this chick is out here taking pride in demanding "MOAR". You should be shamed nostr:nevent1qqs9uy2j0v8hz62udferd9l8l8jyatjfhnz0wp65vr3wael6fqj3ywspz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhsygzm9yj46h42466hw4ft7rg3qvphdarh6xdqp8zlt2qdm3eafy6e7cpsgqqqqqqs7r23q6