Oddbean new post about login | logout Perhaps my main point is: do not gaslight yourself into thinking something is good strategy because your religion tells your it is a divine imperative. Full respect for your religious beliefs. But understand that following those beliefs is a deliberate, irrational choice. We make many such choices in religion. The “rational” point of a religion is to get you to act irrationally for sometimes rational game theory reasons. (Whether the societal game theory is still rational is debatable)
@86ee8b2c it’s Terrible strategy if you care only for yourself and securing wealth. It is the only strategy worth considering if you intend to change the future. I’m one man, but my descendants could number in the thousands in a couple generations. Even my grandmother (who is still with us) has over 120 living descendants between children, grand children, and great grand children. This is like planting trees you will never feel the shade of, and it’s fighting for the future.
@7192c2c3 If you want to maximize offspring, it is also not the ideal strategy
@86ee8b2c it is is you ant to raise them to hold your values and worldview. That’s not the work of a one night stand, it’s the work of a lifetime with a dedicated partner. If you want to have your children remember their father and how he saw the world and why… marriage and a traditional family is the path. That doesn’t mean it’s easy or without substantial risks. Otherwise you may die a wealthy man surrounded by your porn collection and, regrets and resentment, whom no one will mourn.
@7192c2c3 If you want to share your values with the most possible people become an influencer
@86ee8b2c pfft. Yeah that’s totally more influential than the head of a family in the lives of children. I’m building a dynasty not a brand.
@7192c2c3 It is more influential. Look at Jeff Younger.
@86ee8b2c never heard of him. But I have heard of and from the men I’m a descendant of and I’m trying to follow in those footsteps, after all they are the reason I am here and who I am.
@7192c2c3 Jeff Younger wanted to build a family legacy, but his wife wanted to trans his kids instead Guess who won in the courts.
@86ee8b2c ah, well I’m not trying to tell you that marriage isn’t risky or dangerous. I’m trying to explain that there is value there you can’t get any other way. The gap between foolishness and courage is often a close run thing.
@86ee8b2c God didn't tell me to share a bank account with my wife. We're paying off a mortgage together, been together 17 years, our money is separate. It's not her business if I want to buy a tuba, not mine if she spends a lot at the gym. The model you pick apart is a paper dragon. People who have reasonable marriages don't make the bad choices you seem to think are the only options
@cc121fd8 Bravo Statistically though, divorce rate is 50%, that’s financial equivalent of pulling the trigger three times in Russian Roulette. Property laws vary by state; in Texas, all property is jointly owned regardless of account arrangements.
@86ee8b2c ok. If I were married to someone who didn't work (unlikely with my temperament) I wouldn't take out a mortgage without having a contract with said spouse. I'm sure such a thing could be written to avoid this problem. Of course if she wasn't working because she was raising my kids, then that's an arrangement I freely made and she deserves half the house.
@cc121fd8 Judges regularly throw out prenups because fuck the white man
@cc121fd8 Marriage is the contract, and the contract is “you have no rights.”
@86ee8b2c neat. It's been my experience that I mostly get what I deserve. If I'm looking for trouble, I get trouble. If I put in the work, I get something serious. I've been hurt many times, but it does me no good blaming the other person. All I can control is me, and I just keep working on that.