Oddbean new post about login | logout Ladies, I was this many days old when science informed me that men are physically incapable of differentiating between flirty-looks and friendly-looks in human females. This. Explains. Everything.
Hey! Thats not nice! Not only can't we differentiate but will also interpret the opposite meaning you intended to show in the first place!
This guy gets it.
Counter interpretation: women are bad at differentiating these looks.
That doesn't explain why women can differentiate the looks on other women.
Women are amazing at nonverbal communication. I hate it.
Many men can't differentiate between a flirty look and a death glare
They also can't differentiate between "Take me, baby!" and "How about an 8th round of Settlers of Catan?"
Wait, there's a difference?
@TheRupertDamnit wants sources
Yeah, this seems like willfull ignorance to cover wrong actions to me. How can you go through life not knowing whether or not someone was just being friendly because that's how they exist in the world and misinterpret it as an advance? Like, this literally sounds like defense of rape kinda shit. "Oh, well genetically I couldn't tell that the cashier telling me to have a nice day wasn't her throwing herself at me."
Nah, men are generally worse at interpreting nonverbal signals, to a significant degree, and they are nearly twice as likely to interpret "sexy" signals as "friendly", as the other way around. https://rp-online.de/panorama/wissen/maenner-verwechseln-freundlichkeit-mit-sexuellen-interesse_aid-11806039
https://image.nostr.build/ece32e5991cf4294f4b6671efc9dbbfb8da622b7b178e4d099b6894458623ca4.gif#m=image%2Fgif&dim=360x300&blurhash=%3BJK%2C%7EsIAR*rWDi_NV%40IAbH9atRkCIoxaRiRjV%40t74n%25N-qt8kXD*kC%25MR*M%7BocaeoekCxuj%5BX8M%7BtSRkRPxvWCWAofRjt7MxoeRks.jZWVoeaet7s%3AoLoLs%3AoeWBR*afWBIUt7fPRjkCRjWBofRj&x=bdf2aec312fdf4e5984bc514d232c2d86036e29353b4b4b6369a3536c2fbb379
Men often can't tell if you're trying to flirt with them. Have to practically hold up a flashing sign "Do you like me? Yes/No"
Yeah in my experience the error was in the “friendly” direction. Not rapey at all. My mother swore all the way through high school that girls were flirting with me and would even point out who, and I was 💯 convinced they were not interested. I remained single until I turned 20.
Yeah, feels like trying to flirt with a wall. That's why women get desperate and tart up, but that's very diffuse. I understand the urge, tho. The female frustration. Is real.
Sorry. We’re stupid cave men who figured out how to make magic with sand. If it makes you feel any better, we get just as frustrated - trying to be a nice guy and not bother women who aren’t interested in us often means just being alone, since we think none of them are. My wife came and snatched me up. I’m a rescue.
I gave him my number unasked and he was like, What do I do with this? 🤦🏻♀️
Hypothesis: women are just terrible at sending signals. 🤔😅
They've known us for tens of thousands of years, they should know by now to just tell us when they want to have sex.
We can't really comprehend that. And we only want to have sex with him if he really likes us, tho. We want to know if he LIKES us. https://image.nostr.build/cb204d17d9316975d4d00b06f9b5aecdeb9d4c18014f283ac82b660414517a88.gif#m=image%2Fgif&dim=400x413&blurhash=%7CDBpe8t7009F_3%25MM%7BIUtR%7Eq%25M9FM%7BxuxuM%7BM%7Bt7t7t7j%5BxuIURjayofRjxukB%25MRjD%25M%7BtRxuoL%25MxuWBM%7BIUofxuayay%25MofM%7Cf7WBayj%5BayRjofayofofayM%7BRjxut7t7j%5BWUt7RjRjoft7ofM%7BayxuofNGRjofofof&x=fe745d112dab1562eb3c19fe3ca8ccdd9d80c3c9ea39c353782278d299953ce3
See, @Kajoozie Maflingo gets it. 😅😏
Why not do that? It would certainly eliminate the guess work.
Well, we often give up in exasperation and do that, but it's so terribly unromantic.
I am logical and I like things to be logical. Romance does not have to be a mystery novel. Be honest with your feelings.
Guys notice it and think to themselves "naw, that couldn't be true. I must be misinterpreting things. Act like nothing happened and avoid being creepy"
Yeah, but she can't act too desperate because then he's like eww. She has to constantly drop hints and pray to the dating gods that he'll notice and isn't distracted with making plans for cleaning out his basement, or something.
Does this knowledge influence your behavior? 🤪
I'm going to invest in flash cards, like a referee. Then I can pull out yellow or red cards, depending upon whether he should interpret my behavior as "No, thank you, have a headache, feel fat." or "Just playing hard to get, commence chasing."
🤣do you have sons?
One. He's as oblivious as his dad. It's genetic.
Oblivious to what, now?!
To girls trying to flirt with him.
Lol. I was being sarcastic.
I’ve sometimes thought that wedding rings have the wrong polarity. There should be a ring (or some other marker) for “I’m open to dating, although I won’t necessarily say yes.” Something that a woman can remove when she gets married, or when she just doesn’t feel like being courted.
Isn't that what the claddagh rings are for? Depending on how you wear them, you're open to new things or not. IIRC.
I’m afraid the only things I know about claddagh rings are what I just read on Wikipedia. 🫤
I smile at everyone. When I was young and single, that got me into trouble. Guys thought I was flirting when I was just giving a friendly hello smile like I do to everyone. I still smile at everyone but don't have the problem anymore. It could be the wedding ring. It could be I'm not interesting at my age. It could be my smile changed. It could be something else. I don't actually want anyone pursuing me, but I'll admit I hope it isn't that I'm not interesting anymore.
Yeah, I'm a chronic smiler. And I happily chat with everyone I meet, like a little kid would. Nobody seems to interpret it as flirting, although I'm so spergy that I can't really tell if someone finds me attractive, unless they're extremely obvious about it. And then it's too late to clarify. I guess that's why I am under the impression that I'm not that attractive, but men occasionally suddenly lose their minds and get sex-rabies around me. There was probably a whole phase in-between, that I completely missed. The concept that men are often thinking about sex and masking it, helps explain the sex-rabies thing.
I was always second-guessing myself and thinking , but what did I do at this particular moment, that suddenly caused him to think about that? And it drove me nuts because I was just acting the way I always act. It makes more sense as part of a continuum. Makes men seem less random.
I'm sort of with the men on this one. I can actually tell when women are trying to flirt, but I can't tell when men are trying to flirt. Friendly and flirty seem the same to me, so I always assume friendly. Men are generally very friendly.
