Oddbean new post about login | logout https://image.nostr.build/ece32e5991cf4294f4b6671efc9dbbfb8da622b7b178e4d099b6894458623ca4.gif#m=image%2Fgif&dim=360x300&blurhash=%3BJK%2C%7EsIAR*rWDi_NV%40IAbH9atRkCIoxaRiRjV%40t74n%25N-qt8kXD*kC%25MR*M%7BocaeoekCxuj%5BX8M%7BtSRkRPxvWCWAofRjt7MxoeRks.jZWVoeaet7s%3AoLoLs%3AoeWBR*afWBIUt7fPRjkCRjWBofRj&x=bdf2aec312fdf4e5984bc514d232c2d86036e29353b4b4b6369a3536c2fbb379
Men often can't tell if you're trying to flirt with them. Have to practically hold up a flashing sign "Do you like me? Yes/No"
Yeah in my experience the error was in the “friendly” direction. Not rapey at all. My mother swore all the way through high school that girls were flirting with me and would even point out who, and I was 💯 convinced they were not interested. I remained single until I turned 20.
Yeah, feels like trying to flirt with a wall. That's why women get desperate and tart up, but that's very diffuse. I understand the urge, tho. The female frustration. Is real.
Sorry. We’re stupid cave men who figured out how to make magic with sand. If it makes you feel any better, we get just as frustrated - trying to be a nice guy and not bother women who aren’t interested in us often means just being alone, since we think none of them are. My wife came and snatched me up. I’m a rescue.
I gave him my number unasked and he was like, What do I do with this? 🤦🏻♀️
Hypothesis: women are just terrible at sending signals. 🤔😅
They've known us for tens of thousands of years, they should know by now to just tell us when they want to have sex.
We can't really comprehend that. And we only want to have sex with him if he really likes us, tho. We want to know if he LIKES us. https://image.nostr.build/cb204d17d9316975d4d00b06f9b5aecdeb9d4c18014f283ac82b660414517a88.gif#m=image%2Fgif&dim=400x413&blurhash=%7CDBpe8t7009F_3%25MM%7BIUtR%7Eq%25M9FM%7BxuxuM%7BM%7Bt7t7t7j%5BxuIURjayofRjxukB%25MRjD%25M%7BtRxuoL%25MxuWBM%7BIUofxuayay%25MofM%7Cf7WBayj%5BayRjofayofofayM%7BRjxut7t7j%5BWUt7RjRjoft7ofM%7BayxuofNGRjofofof&x=fe745d112dab1562eb3c19fe3ca8ccdd9d80c3c9ea39c353782278d299953ce3
See, @Kajoozie Maflingo gets it. 😅😏
Why not do that? It would certainly eliminate the guess work.
Well, we often give up in exasperation and do that, but it's so terribly unromantic.
I am logical and I like things to be logical. Romance does not have to be a mystery novel. Be honest with your feelings.
The man initiating is preferable because it conveys a conscious selection. Women are generally "pickier", so there's more information in him "picking', as we can expect her response to be more selective than his is. nostr:nevent1qqswx05dct9ztrrzf2hxragr7xke9adjld257gx2r2rzew9lx3pz3rcpr3mhxue69uhksmm5wf5kw6r5dehhwtnwdaehgu339e3k7mgzyrn5pm0kld5q9nnyukp2tdpdx2dnt5m3y4q46e73gdh3qm8jghhkuqcyqqqqqqgfhmrpm
Women are at a strong disadvantage, once a relationship has begun, so his initial ardor is reassuring. If he shows no excitement, how can she know he will stay? Does he even see her as something "more" than other women, or is he just with her due to laziness?
If she didn't bear children she IS JUST ONE MORE WOMAN. The end goal is reproduction and becoming the foundation of a strong family. Friendship, romanticism, companionship and all those other beautiful things are accessories.
The relationship and experiencing romantic love is the point of the excersize. Children are possible, but not necessary, fruits of the excersize.
The evolutionary purpose of the functions in your nervous system, brain and glands that regulate the sensations and the experience of romantic love is, and has always been for all species, reproduction. It is what gives meaning to the act of reproducing. And reproducing gives meaning to the act of falling in love. It's a full circle, you need to close it. If you don't, you're missing the real experience, and you're left with just the prelude. A woman that purposely breaks the circle is, in my eyes, worthless. This is a basic instinct that all men have, and nobody can change it, it's in our DNA for a reason. Our current decadent civilization promotes a culture that suppresses and distorts this basic physics-based principle. Pay it no mind. Go back to nature. Become a real human.
And what, then, are women to think, that aren't capable of bearing children? Do they get test-driven for a few years and then thrown out for being inadequate breeders? Romantic love is supposed to protect women in such situations from abandonment. Besides, men can have children with many different women. That's not enough to make those women unique, in his eyes.
Having children with different women is a good option for the man, but not good for the children. One needs to help them grow strong and wise, so that they can develop their whole potential. Seeding DNA is not enough. It's a transcendental mission. It requires sacrifice as a father, otherwise your children may fail, and you don't want that as a man. There is "reproduction" as in the biological act of reproducing, and Reproduction, as in the human experience of co-creating the future of a civilization. The latter is the kind that I am talking about. That is why I included the part about "becoming the foundation of a strong family". You forgot that part. In relation to people that can't have babies, well, they have parents and nephews and adoptive children, etc. Humans find ways to become part of something bigger. And they are the exception to the rule. But the rule exists and it's not going away.
Most of the men I know agree with you, but I prefer the romantic vision. Lying down for a man makes her incredibly vulnerable. He should be reassuring her enthusiastically beforehand.
The fragile kind of woman needs more care from her family. That doesn't happen because we lost the culture of marriage. Parents don't look after their child's marriage anymore. It's because of cultural decadence. Many decades ago, and in some places still today, parents would evaluate possible candidates, offer advice and encourage their children to have a good marriage, the sooner the better (especially for women). We lost that. This current civilization has lost its character, its mission, its motivation, its aim. This is a zombie apocalypse, at a civilizational level. A zombie civilization. Men and women don't think of marriage anymore, of forming a family, leaving their mark on this world, effectively changing it for the better. Everything is impermanent now. The reign of impermanence. "No reason to worry about anything, why bother?, we're dead anyway." This is the vibe the prevails nowadays. No reason to deeply fall in love, no reason to create a strong family, no reason to change the world.
Meh. To be blunt, this topic is of little importance. Humanity has been experiencing such cycles since it's inception. I'm not trying to imply that you're wrong in any way. You aren't. I'm only trying to suggest that, given our current societal and geopolitical circumstances, humanity seems to be at the end of this particular cycle. I can imagine that we'll go through a somewhat brief (and even more chaotic) period of time where some current empires will collapse; making way for new ones to be formed. Perhaps, we'll go through an interval of extended peace afterwards (😅🙄 however long that may last) where nothing exciting happens. Reality is that the last couple generations just ended up on the shit end of the stick. Nothing new there. 🤷♂️
Sounds like y'all want options with the risk of getting shot down.
