Oddbean new post about login | logout Do men even realize that some women find excessive male wealth a turn-off?
That would require their brains to function and their level of sympathy to be at least average though o.o
The men or the women? 😂
Men, in this case. Can't vouch for the women to be fair... ^^' Most IRL girls I have met had the one or other... problem. o-o So my "reference material" is pretty much of no good use lol. (Ever seen a three-page document of psychological illness diagnostic? its almost scary. o-o)
A minority of men probably understand that, considering the avg person is living life to understand what they're doing tomorrow and that's it People are being raised to be ignorant of the world.
The Love of Money for Money's sake is a form of lacking security in oneself and their ability. I think about getting a lot of money, though its within the context of wanting to provide more value to others. Wanting wealth is different than loving wealth. Its not difficult to tell the difference when speaking to a man of questionable values and a Good man.
I suspect having a lot of money can make it harder to be a good man because you have more occasion to sin.
Big agree on that one. I like to reference Matthew 19:24 "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Even though it is more difficult to do, doesn't mean it shouldn't be attempted. Its kind of like a cautionary tale, be wary of the risks. Plus wealth isn't inherently bad. It enhances the visibility of a wealthy person's character.
I agree that wealth isn't inherently bad, but I prefer to gain wealth together with someone else, then to just marry into it. But maybe that's my own paranoia.
Its totally fine to have that preference. I am the strange one in my circles since I am the only person who leans into Orthodox Christianity. If the situation calls for it and I'm wealthy enough, my wife to be and their family will receive a Dower. This will be within the context of a pre-nup.
Even with a dower, the whole thing is awkward, but at least she'd feel less like a kept woman.
It took him a long time to talk me into being a SAHM and I went back to work, as soon as I could. But even so, his income is multiples of mine and it grates. Every time I do the taxes, I'm reminded of how skewed it is, and I think that's why I never want to buy anything for myself.
Its difficult to navigate these relationships and social dynamics between partners when the world is so uncertain. When I was with my ex-fiancé, I loved her to the end of the Earth, but what I saw as a total investment in our relationship wasn't what she wanted. She wanted something else, she valued something else.
Yes, it's all so complicated. I always wonder what it was like, earlier. Was it easier to navigate or did people just assume it would be difficult? Women were mostly SAHM before, so they didn't have to make that choice consciously and nobody made assumptions about them based upon their situation.
SAHD here. It is humbling doing a job that society doesn't value, to be dependent on a spouse who makes nearly double what I ever did. But that's just my pride getting in the way of enjoying a ridiculously blessed life. We all want to give our lives to something or someone, a hobby, a cause, but we want to decide what, how, and why. The trouble is that retaining that control means we haven't really given our lives to the cause. I am only miserable taking care of my 5 kids when I dwell on how important I could have been if I had had the time to program, or do some math, etc.
Yeah. Caring for dependents and keeping house is basically seen as "doing nothing". And then they lecture us all that we need to increase the birth rate and it's like, make up your mind.
Well, I think the "doing nothing" mindset is a bit more European. In the U.S. SAHMs are suspected of internalized oppression by one half and idealized by the other. SAHDs are just kind of beta.
I guess I just get depressed, sometimes. Like I have to justify my own existence.
Parenting is the only real job nature ever created. All other jobs exist to aid parenting. Sure there is a lot of nuance to that claim, some jobs are parasitic on society and some are far removed from the main goal of living, but it all comes back to replication eventually. That's why we get so upset about reproduction and education issues.
People see parenting as something done instead of having a real job. Like being unemployed.
People... are ridiculous. I don't see much point in paying them any mind. What do "real jobs" do? Contribute to the GDP? Even the jobs that actually do something are looked down upon. The next most vital job after raising the people who make up society is feeding them, yet while "farming" is idealized "farmers" are ridiculed. Plumbers at #3 also aren't anyone's ideal. The result of real work is life, the result of imaginary work is money.
Ooohhh, Bible! The eye of the needle was the entry to the market. Camels had to have all packs removed to squeeze themselves through the opening. It was a safeguard against theft. The Middle East thousands of years ago must have been a real trip!
Most no, some yes.
😅😏 Listen, ladies and gents, let's just be frank with each other about this instead of overthinking something all men who are involved in this discussion are already perfectly aware of: all ladies need a tad bit of drama in their life every now and then. Don't deny it ladies. 🤷♂️ 😁
💯
I've never heard a man even mention that this might be a thing, so I'm curious.
Of course they wouldn’t.
I don’t think they do.
Like, it's nice when he earns similar or a bit more, but dating can be awkward, when you can't even afford a car and he pulls up in a Lambo, or something. Like WTF? 😂
I think how one handles wealth is more important than the amount. If a guy is driving a Lamborghini as his everyday car he’s not on the same page as me. Also if there’s income/ wealth disparity how does your partner make you feel about it? How do they seem to feel about it? I don’t want to be with someone who would hold a grudge against me or treat me as less than because of their material wealth. I’ve seen guys with a little money acting like every woman who says hello is after their bag. Then I’ve seen multimillionaires who were generous with their time and attention. It’s more mindset than pure numbers.
It bothers me, even if they try to be nice about it.
Most haven't a clue. Some perfectly realize it.
If he spends money on you --> He's trying to buy my affections. 🤨 If he doesn't spend money on you --> He loves his money more than me. 😭 He can't win. 😂
I imagine most wouldn't even stumble onto this thought. The ones that do probably don't care. I know I certainly don't. I've got a small family and we want it to get bigger. The more I can make the better, but my earning potential is likely much lower than the guys you're referring to. I just want to miximize it for them.
I'm a bit preoccupied with the topic because I always dated men (like my husband) who were significantly older, so if they were rich, as well, it was like https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
I mean that's fair enough. I'm older than my wife as well and was doing well at the time we met. I think that's fairly normal. I'm sure on the extreme end it maybe starts to look a but off but I tend not to judge on that too much. Men like young hotties and women like a certain level of security. As the kids say, "you do you boo".
I thought it would wear off, over time, but I'm aging really slowly and his income has gone way up, so the effect is actually worsening. He introduces me to business partners or whatnot and they're like 👀 Broooooo! You da man! 🤦♀️ https://media1.tenor.com/m/gyOx7FUdVjQAAAAd/greys-anatomy-oh-god-shut-up.gif
I feel like that's a good problem to have! Wealthy husband Maintained youth Hive fives all around I hope my wife gets to have that set of problems! I'll bring my daughter to meet you and she'll give you a high five. She loves high fives.
😂 My husband thinks it's awesome. 🙄
https://i.nostr.build/8GrMa.gif
We're the worst but we love you ladies.
Isn't this often going to come with a class divide? I think both men and women would notice that pretty quickly, more so than "wealth".
Yeah, "excessive" is subjective. I thought being a millionaire was a excessive, but it'd seem normal, if I were a millionaire.
There are young guys on here pulling $100k+ in salary alone. 🥴 They might as well live on a different planet.
Most of the guys on here are probably much wealthier than I am, or at least, that's how it seems. Can make it sort of hard to talk to them, although the hardcore hodlers are at least stingy enough to also care about the price of chicken legs at the butcher. 😂
Lol. Honestly, I've been assuming that you and your husband are a decently wealthy couple. And I don't need to worry about the price of chicken legs. #humblebrag 😅😏
A lid for every pot they say.
just because everyone here has #bitcoin in their bio doesn't mean they're loaded. look at me for example haha
