Its difficult to navigate these relationships and social dynamics between partners when the world is so uncertain.

When I was with my ex-fiancé, I loved her to the end of the Earth, but what I saw as a total investment in our relationship wasn't what she wanted. She wanted something else, she valued something else. 

 Yes, it's all so complicated.

I always wonder what it was like, earlier. Was it easier to navigate or did people just assume it would be difficult?

Women were mostly SAHM before, so they didn't have to make that choice consciously and nobody made assumptions about them based upon their situation. 

 On the other hand, they didn't have a choice. Which sorta sucks. 

 SAHD here. It is humbling doing a job that society doesn't value, to be dependent on a spouse who makes nearly double what I ever did. But that's just my pride getting in the way of enjoying a ridiculously blessed life.

We all want to give our lives to something or someone, a hobby, a cause, but we want to decide what, how, and why. The trouble is that retaining that control means we haven't really given our lives to the cause.

I am only miserable taking care of my 5 kids when I dwell on how important I could have been if I had had the time to program, or do some math, etc. 

 Yeah. Caring for dependents and keeping house is basically seen as "doing nothing".

And then they lecture us all that we need to increase the birth rate and it's like, make up your mind. 

 Well, I think the "doing nothing" mindset is a bit more European. In the U.S. SAHMs are suspected of internalized oppression by one half and idealized by the other. SAHDs are just kind of beta. 

 I wish someone would oppress or idolize me. 😂 I'm just doing nothing.

Unfortunately, if I stop doing that nothing, everything slowly falls apart.
It's complicated. 

 I guess I just get depressed, sometimes. Like I have to justify my own existence. 

 Parenting is the only real job nature ever created. All other jobs exist to aid parenting.

Sure there is a lot of nuance to that claim, some jobs are parasitic on society and some are far removed from the main goal of living, but it all comes back to replication eventually. That's why we get so upset about reproduction and education issues. 

 People see parenting as something done instead of having a real job. Like being unemployed. 

 People... are ridiculous. I don't see much point in paying them any mind. What do "real jobs" do? Contribute to the GDP? Even the jobs that actually do something are looked down upon. The next most vital job after raising the people who make up society is feeding them, yet while "farming" is idealized "farmers" are ridiculed. Plumbers at #3 also aren't anyone's ideal.

The result of real work is life, the result of imaginary work is money.