Oddbean

Genuine psychology question: I’m trying to understand the behavior of some of these people out here who seek a return to the subjugation of women. Often when I discover a new one it is a person who I know IRL. A person who is very respectful to me when they see me out at a conference, etc. I just don’t understand why someone who has an inherent disrespect for the minds of women would sit down and have an hour long conversation with me. A professional conversation, where they don’t even hit on me. Why do they do that?

You don’t understand men. Alpha men anyway. I mean no disrespect and to each their own. I find a strong intelligent woman sexy but having two cooks in the kitchen has never been a better answer. Feminism has normalized some behaviors that are kinda “manlike”. Some guys like that, some don’t but there’s millions of years of evolutionary behavior trying to be undone in the last 65 years or so. Expect a bit of turbulence while western society works it out.

great point~! a lot of guys stake their masculinity in protecting and providing. but in a first-world country, these aren't extreme necessities since most places are generally safe and women are more than capable of providing. there's a sense of entitlement for things that nearly a default.

Its still exists. Might be just outside of your paradigm atm but its still here. I know a lot of women that want it both ways, they want to be strong and independent but wonder why men are intimidated by them and wont hit on them. Then they meet at alpha guy that does hit on them and they use words like subjugation to describe what the dude is trying to do. Theres a strange and confusing dichotomy in society right now. Might be easier to just decide which camp you want to be in because you cant have it both ways. Both camps have merit but this means when you see a man you want to go after you, be prepared to be the initiator if he doesn’t engage. Cheers 🍻

What happened to individuality and respect? This really isn't that hard, just be good to people. Take the time to get to know someone as a unique individual. Hit on everyone, just be respectful about it. Do your thing. Have fun.

I have no idea how respect or individuality made it into this conv. Respect is always expected. And yes, it really isn’t that hard. I never said anything was hard. I was answering your question from my perspective is all. 🍻

After reading a couple more of your posts, I disagree with your premise that these men your referring to want to subjugate women. Its all about just being comfortable in a relationship. Feminism has disrupted things that have existed for millions of generations of successful men. Right or wrong isn’t the issue, its just a behavioral pattern in us that cant just go away overnight. It’s confusing to us. Im just old enough to have had relationships that were very traditional and transitioning into relationships now where I make much less income than most of the women I meet so I have an interesting perspective. In any case, its an interesting topic for sure and I don’t have the answers or pretend to be right, just sharing my perspective as a decent man and a successful father of 2.5 grown men.