Oddbean

I reject the idea that people shouldn't care what others think about them. We are made to be social creatures. Without honor and shame society wouldn't function. Ironically, those who say you shouldn't care about people's opinion of you often resort to name-calling, demonstrating that social esteem is inescapable. And this is a good thing. Communication is given to us so that we can have an effect on the world around us. The serenity prayer does not mean we ought to give up and isolate ourselves, quite the opposite. The solution to being hurt isn't to withdraw into stoicism, but to realize that God has offered a seat of honor at his table to you, an undeserving sinner. "For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ." This is the only escape from the tyrrany of others' opinion - not to give up caring, but to know whose opinion actually matters.

This is the mentality I'm talking about. You're going to call insecure people names because they shouldn't care about your appellations? That seems self-contradictory. Furthermore, since you know people are insecure, you know you have power over them (even if it's a fault of theirs). And you're going to use that power to further abuse them rather than offer encouragement?

I don’t what you call me and you shouldn’t care what I call you either. Live your life the way you want. If you let some words have power over you, you already lost and become a slave to these keyboard warriors. That is no way to live. https://m.primal.net/KCMk.jpg

If you seek approval from God and do his will, you are given authority by God. An authentically justified spirit is a light that can be seen by all, and all in darkness will follow the brightest light.

I don't care opinions of all people because many of them do not deserve it. I care only of people I trust or that are trusted by whom I trust or people who are in a position to impact my reputation.

What convinced me that people shouldn’t care too much about what others think about themselves is seeing too many people taking the COVID jab for the only reason that the pressure exercised by the social group was too strong for them to take on. Yes, we are social animals and the social engineers use this attributes to manipulate behaviors, hence it’s important for an individual to be able to detach his/her actions from the opinions of others.

Disagree 100% - the only person who's opinion you should value is your own (and God's). Judging yourself through the lens of others makes you subservient to their moral code and values. Find friends who value and appreciate the person that you choose to be--if people don't accept you as you choose to be, find other friends.

For personal growth, or turning you away from going down a bad road, you absolutely should care about what those you care about have to say about you, and very little about what random people on the internet who care nothing for you think about you. For the sake of being a representative of Christ to the world, you should care what all people think of you. Ensure that they hate you for the sake of the gospel itself, not the way you present it. "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." - Colossians 4:6 "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." - 1 Peter 2:12 "Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us." - Titus 2:7 & 8 "Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil." - 1 Timothy 3:7 If our Lord tells us we should care what others think of us, not for our own sake, but for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ, then we should probably listen.

this discussion needs to reckon with the distorting effects of 100 years of feminism on the the natural no-bullshit straight shooter communication that used to go on between western men and which served to keep the hierarchy and order in line. Not only was the west not suffering from the debilitating paralysis of the psycho-spiritual reverberations of letting the woman out of the "cage" and into ALL formerly male spaces, but it was also racially and religiously homogenous... in other words WE KNEW OUR NEIGHBOR and treating him as we would treat ourselves is obviously not a self-destructive or self-sabotaging endeavour in the way that, say, it may be to "accomodate" your new neighbors, the islamists, thereby possibly disenfranchising your own childrens heritage... the complications are exponentially compounded by the movement of people based on money - the root of all evil. when you REMOVE all that tradition and the well worn avenues of behaviour established, based on natural law and biblical principles, the pressure release valves are also compromised, including all the little shared and common courtesies that people in racially and religiously homogenous societies enjoy... the frustration builds. the courtesy disappears. the possibility for peace disappears. its great to treat your neighbor well - but WHO IS YOUR NEIGHBOR? https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/59994326-who-is-my-neighbor

There's gradients in stoicism that have been devalued for convenience during its most recent spell of popularity. The concentric circles of self, family, friends, community, etc apply every aspect of how we engage with the world around us, including how we are viewed by the people who inhabit those circles. We choose who we are and where we place ourselves within others' gradients. We build our families & friendships, find mentors and aspirations, provide value through work & knowledge all based on where people are willing to place themselves within our 'graphs', aka what people think of us. Obviously there's some mutual agreement in there, as proximity gets closer 😅 ...anyway, that's my long(ish) version of agreeing with you.

Largely agree. We should be willing to think independently and proceed forward according to our own conscience rather than government dictates, but you also have to be willing to take feedback from others. No one has it all figured out.

In that context, I agree, but it's still natural to feel othersc opinions, even bots. One way in which social media breaks our expectations about the world. The internet is really is a hostile, alien place to be a human.