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 With a job well done, I left the endgame area to go see if defeating Ganondorf would unlock the paraglider. So I built my chasm ascent device. The first time I went there, I lost 4 hours trying to leave. It was the most excruciating experience with the game. I didn't have most Zonai devices, the knowledge to use them or Autobuild.

Later, I'm ascending through the Hyrule castle chasm and the game just decided it was sleepy and didn't want to load the overworld. It's the first time I see it happen. I do appreciate the mystic mist that prevents one from seeing beyond. Orientals are acquainted with mystic mist.

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 Once I was back at the surface of Hyrule, I went straight to Lookout Landing. Look, if defeating the Demon King doesn't grant me a paraglider, I don't know what will.

So, anticipating this might be a big moment, I put on my most formal gear and headed straight to Purah.

She actually had new dialogue now! It seems I might have finally enabled the new not-Sheikah towers.

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 Can you romance purah in the postgame? 
 @Turdicus, of the Rain It's just become possible to converse with her. I'll find out and let you know! :0510: 
 @Rasterman Nigger, what the hell is that Link getup?

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/27356d8aade514e7a762719cd470f25c31e026cec46996f25b5dbf75c49318c9.jpg 
 @Christi Junior @Rasterman man literally decided to become tingle LMAO 
 @Christi Junior @Rasterman KOOLOO-LIMPAH!

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 @9ea38823 @Christi Junior The three outfits say that. Is that deep Tingle lore? Is it a spell? The name of his country? What he says as he dismembers his victims? ...Not sure what he's about but from the way people react to Link wearing his clothes, I'm getting weird vibes. :pepe_feelsweird: 
 @Christi Junior I wanted to show the people I had been around, getting treasure; but didn't want to scare them off with the "Fierce Deity" outfit or the like, so I picked up a harmless-looking one.

And to show Link is a pro-monarchy capitalist, I carried my Hudson Construction cutouts in support of Hyrule's restoration efforts.

For some reason, though, people react scared, disgusted or annoyed when Link walks up to them. I tried changing clothes and only seems to happen with the Tingle suit. What did Tingle do to get this reaction of out people? :thinking:

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 @Rasterman Didn't I already tell you that Tingle in The Wind Waker was in prison for diddling kids, and later discovered to have his own Epstein island where he enslaves people and forces them to dress up just like him? 
 @Christi Junior WTF, I don't remember it being that colourful; but I thought it was Beedle.

Welp, Tingle sounds like a major problem. Wondering what calamity affects people in that game that nobody decided to go Gary Plauché on him. 
 @Christi Junior @Rasterman 
Wind Waker Tingle really is just a gay Jeffrey Epstein. 
 There is no way you went through the whole game without the paraglider! 
 @NotImportant Well... not the whole game! I still have, like, 9 quests to do. And a couple shrines.

And now that I have enabled maps and the camera, I need to travel Hyrule, looking for those towers to activate and the fauna and flora to photograph.

There's a lot of game ahead of me! 
 This is trolling on another level 
 @Trevor Goodchild:pondering_orb: @NotImportant I am innocent, I tell you. I am just trying to enjoy my video game in peace. :pepe_feelsweird: 
 credat judaeus Apella, non ego 
 Counter-point: If there's someone autistic enough to to come up with his own handicapped 100% playthrough, he's probably on fedi. 
 >stare at teh hundreds of hours racked up in Pathfinder: WotR
>now just curbstomping endboss encounters with a homebrew maxed out party build 
>on hardmode

I feel personally attacked 
 SUCCESS! :0330: With a respectable 325 hours put into the game, I have managed to unlock the paraglider and can teach you all how it's done:

First you need to do all quests you can find. Major quests, temples, shrine quests, shield surfing, everything.

Then go beneath Hyrule castle and defeat the Demon King.

After that, make sure your save has a star (see second image). If it does, head back up to the surface and go talk to Purah in Lookout Landing. She will have new dialogue and will give Link the paraglider after some errands within Lookout Landing like getting to know the people in the base.

I'm aware few people might feel up to the task; but if I did it, you can too! :0460: Now got get that glider! :0330:

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 @Rasterman Only 320 hours later than you should have gotten it :sip: 
 @Christi Junior @Rasterman Honestly this kinda makes me wanna attempt a no glider run as well when I finally get around to playing Tears of the Kingdom :beatrice_cackle: 
 @0e5f9345 @Christi Junior Look at that... I have become an inspiration to gamers following in my footsteps. 🥲

And to think some fake news outlets were saying the paraglider was mandatory or some bull. :0030: In fact, with every copy of Tears of the Kingdom being personalised, you better hope yours doesn't have some other unusual glitch locking a major feature behind a long quest.

Go on, hero, play the game the way Aonuma intended it. :pepe_salute: 
 @Christi Junior What are you talking about? At hour 5 I hadn't even beaten Ganondorf yet. :melgibson_wtf: 
 And this part is for @Christi Junior , whose limited knowledge of the Zelda series led him to the comical conclusion that you needed the paraglider to progress through the game. :pepe_laugh:  It was literally impossible to progress any other way. :smug12: 

So, here Purah gives Link the shortest quest in the history of quests: it literally solved itself immediately. She wants Link to investigate some stuff that's already done. Granny Purah is a bit slow these days. Should be at the nursing home instead of playing scientist.

The takeaway from this part is that Eiji Aonuma knew the only way to beat the game was without the glider and it would come to a real hero that proves he can defeat the Demon King. Now the game can finally start!

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 Here's video evidence of Link starting and completing a quest in the same 5 second span. :pepe_feelsweird: 

I don't intent to unfairly criticise the game 'cause it was amazing; but this quest was kind of pointless.

Or maybe this was a joke like "look how fast Link can complete your mission".

I don't know what they were going for here. Japanese humour perhaps.

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 Now that the game finally started, it seems Zelda showed up at Hyrule castle during the blood moon! I have to go there investigate; but first, I after ~6 different people across Hyrule told me Robbie has a camera, I asked and it seems this is another feature that will be unlocked. I just have to follow him to the Depths.

A little late, old man. The whole place is lit up and explored; but I guess this quest is intended to show not all characters are as familiar with the Depths as Link.

Robbie knows that Zelda is not the real one, it seems.

Also, the game teaches me, very late, how to throw items and how to attach items to arrows. This information would've been appreciated at the beginning of the game.

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