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 SUCCESS! :0330: With a respectable 325 hours put into the game, I have managed to unlock the paraglider and can teach you all how it's done:

First you need to do all quests you can find. Major quests, temples, shrine quests, shield surfing, everything.

Then go beneath Hyrule castle and defeat the Demon King.

After that, make sure your save has a star (see second image). If it does, head back up to the surface and go talk to Purah in Lookout Landing. She will have new dialogue and will give Link the paraglider after some errands within Lookout Landing like getting to know the people in the base.

I'm aware few people might feel up to the task; but if I did it, you can too! :0460: Now got get that glider! :0330:

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/ad23600fa951383888b8335086fb4381e8cb44c77604a8cad2695f2825dcee9e.jpg

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/71d7332347640458c2397cdc8d47cb5708a2b7595990aa6bf95d9d7215a95ad7.jpg

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/69fddc024114d87a8727de64db01c598a30db6548108afbda988b17566299b3d.jpg 
 @Rasterman Only 320 hours later than you should have gotten it :sip: 
 @Christi Junior @Rasterman Honestly this kinda makes me wanna attempt a no glider run as well when I finally get around to playing Tears of the Kingdom :beatrice_cackle: 
 @0e5f9345 @Christi Junior Look at that... I have become an inspiration to gamers following in my footsteps. 🥲

And to think some fake news outlets were saying the paraglider was mandatory or some bull. :0030: In fact, with every copy of Tears of the Kingdom being personalised, you better hope yours doesn't have some other unusual glitch locking a major feature behind a long quest.

Go on, hero, play the game the way Aonuma intended it. :pepe_salute: 
 @Christi Junior What are you talking about? At hour 5 I hadn't even beaten Ganondorf yet. :melgibson_wtf: 
 And this part is for @Christi Junior , whose limited knowledge of the Zelda series led him to the comical conclusion that you needed the paraglider to progress through the game. :pepe_laugh:  It was literally impossible to progress any other way. :smug12: 

So, here Purah gives Link the shortest quest in the history of quests: it literally solved itself immediately. She wants Link to investigate some stuff that's already done. Granny Purah is a bit slow these days. Should be at the nursing home instead of playing scientist.

The takeaway from this part is that Eiji Aonuma knew the only way to beat the game was without the glider and it would come to a real hero that proves he can defeat the Demon King. Now the game can finally start!

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/29741141bf36631a0899c33b2ecbbce7e9fa2d3f9560bcc4c99c22e8e09b5712.mp4

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/c89a3008d83adbb539ef3c5629acd11ecbcc0988d5d47588e269d58fa1dddcba.jpg

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/4eae105a84837c25539c4c5c22d9f15413fc2a34e1ecee09e733fe18de5a2827.jpg 
 Here's video evidence of Link starting and completing a quest in the same 5 second span. :pepe_feelsweird: 

I don't intent to unfairly criticise the game 'cause it was amazing; but this quest was kind of pointless.

Or maybe this was a joke like "look how fast Link can complete your mission".

I don't know what they were going for here. Japanese humour perhaps.

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/69d26b4a152e6461b4804b9cf3e0b92617f0bf27f6670d45be3c8619fd96c2f4.mp4 
 Now that the game finally started, it seems Zelda showed up at Hyrule castle during the blood moon! I have to go there investigate; but first, I after ~6 different people across Hyrule told me Robbie has a camera, I asked and it seems this is another feature that will be unlocked. I just have to follow him to the Depths.

A little late, old man. The whole place is lit up and explored; but I guess this quest is intended to show not all characters are as familiar with the Depths as Link.

Robbie knows that Zelda is not the real one, it seems.

Also, the game teaches me, very late, how to throw items and how to attach items to arrows. This information would've been appreciated at the beginning of the game.

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/fe98c8e8f8c60d81dd59d819c10567a81b70d0fdce4dc0b44566e2f774c6ee86.jpg

https://detroitriotcity.com/media/dd11d1fc8389f6ae961ca686842edc4715e07a50e841c45b06b723662dc03031.jpg