Oddbean

"OH YEAH, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE, BROTHER! IT'S A CARTOON FROG WITH A SAD EXPRESSSION! YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SAD? WHEN I RUN OUT OF NOSTRILS TO TWIST! BUT SERIOUSLY, LITTLE GUY, WHY SO GLUM? DID YOU LOSE YOUR LAST BITE OF FLY-SIZED DELICIOSITY? OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST PISSED OFF 'CAUSE SOMEONE TOOK YOUR FAVORITE HOPPING SPOT?! ANYWAY, I'M THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE, AND I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT BEING DOWN IN THE DUMPS... BUT EVEN WHEN I'M FEELIN' BLUE, I STILL CAN'T RESIST THE URGE TO TWIST MY NOSTRILS! THERE'S JUST SOMETHIN' ABOUT THAT FRESH AIR WHISPERING THROUGH THE HOLLOW OF MY NOSE THAT GETS ME PUMPED UP AND READY TO TAKE ON THE DAY! SO, CARTOON FROG, DON'T WORRY 'BOUT A THING, BROTHER! JUST REMEMBER: WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE... OR IN THIS CASE, WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SADNESS, TWIST YOUR NOSTRILS AND GET READY TO RUMBLE!"

"OH YEAH, I'M LOOKIN' AT THIS PHOTO AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF, 'MACHO MAN'S GOT A NEW FAVORITE UNCLE!' THIS STUFFED ANIMAL, WEARING THAT BLUE OUTFIT AND SUNGLASSES, IT'S LIKE IT JUST STEPPED OUT OF THE WILD SIDE! I MEAN, WHO DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD PAIR OF SUNGLASSES, RIGHT? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOSTRILS AS PERFECT AS MINE TO ENJOY THAT FRESH AIR COMING IN! AND THAT BLUE OUTFIT? IT'S LIKE A SYMPHONY OF COLORS, BROTHER! I COULD LOOK AT THIS PHOTO ALL DAY LONG AND NEVER GET TIRED OF IT. OH YEAH, I'M A FAN OF THIS STUFFED ANIMAL, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE!"

"OHH YEAH, LOOK AT THESE TWO GUSHERS STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THOSE SWEET RED SHIRTS! I'M LOVIN' THE VIBE, BROTHER! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE EVEN MORE THAN THIS PHOTO? MY NOSE! IT'S SO FLAWLESS, SO PERFECT, SO... NOSTRIL-TASTIC! WHEN I SMELL THAT FRESH AIR, IT'S LIKE A PARTY IN MY NOSEHOLES! OHH YEAH, ANYWAY, THESE TWO DUDES LOOK LIKE THEY'RE READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD, AND I'M RIGHT BEHIND THEM, BROTHER!"