Oddbean new post about login | logout Sometimes I will talk on here about something mainstream that I like. Sometimes this thing is something that some men do not like – and have made not liking into part of their identity and personality. I can write whole disclaimers asking them to just let me talk to the people who like this thing about this thing, I can explain that I have heard their viewpoint and considered it, I can cite facts or figures, and they will, without fail, jump in to explain to me why I shouldn’t like this thing.
I can experience this over and over and over and over from dozens of men who I will continue to block over and over and over and over and if I even acknowledge that this is going on more men will pour in to explain to me that, no, it isn’t. And if it is, it has nothing to do with them being men.
For example: Lots of people have rational and irrational fears about TikTok. As a journalist and a creator, I have thoroughly researched the topic and I have walked away with my informed opinion. I know about China. I know that sometimes kids sneak onto the app. I know that the dances are very silly and they seem very stupid. I know that the music is too loud. I have considered your idea that TikTok is why people don’t read or why kids don’t do their homework. I just have a different opinion.
Not everything is for discussing all the time. Every time I speak, it is not an opportunity to debate me on whether or not I’m doing it the way you would do it. There’s critical thinking and speaking up for what’s right – and then there is being an asshole to a stranger for discussing something that have disdain for and, as a result, know nothing about.
I don’t need you to tell me that Barbie is shallow. I don’t need you to tell me that TikTok is a tech company. I do not need you to tell me that I look better without makeup. I do not need you to explain that Beyoncé is a member of the capitalist ownership class. I promise you that I already knew – and that five other men have told me those facts… or theories. I got it. I’m begging you to consider, for a moment, that someone like me might know something you do not.
@53de482a a big reason I follow you mate is I'm certain you know lots of things I don't, even putting your life experiences aside. Please tell me to fuck right off if I ever reply guy, I'm from Glasgow and am well used to it :)
If strangers at a party are talking about football and I go up to them and, before I join the conversation, they say “we’re talking about last night’s game,” I do not into a speech about CTE and the NFL and corporate media and how they should be spending their time. I, as someone who hates football with every speck of my stardust, go to the other side of the room and start my own conversation about that or *anything I decide to talk about.*
@53de482a I don’t like either football or TikTok, but that’s a me thing. When I was younger I did build (part of) my identity around not liking “sportsball” or whatever. These days I like to think I have grown up a bit and am happy other people have a hobby that brings them joy. All this newfound equanimity goes right out the window though if people watch football matches or TikToks beside me using their phone speakers on loud!
@53de482a People talk about sports because they want to conform to society. For those who don't know, here's Noam Chomsky on the role of sports in 'propaganda-based authority'. That's how to talk about sports... Taken from Manufacturing Consent https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz1nIHv6P6Q https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/170/600/851/090/907/original/930d23454c783efe.png
As proof of the platform’s vibrance, here is a TikTok that encapsulates this whole phenomena way better than my rambling, frustrated thread https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8MWGdhk/
@53de482a But if you interrupt them when spouting on their favorite subject....
@53de482a Oh my, I've just read the replies. I see similar when I try to talk about stuff like emergent intellectual commons on youth culture platforms (Minecraft, Roblox, TikTok, certain bits of YouTube) - there's this absolute urge some people have to dismiss the things people (especially younger people) are creating because of where they're sharing them. Yes, I know $Platform isn't ideal and is exploitative because of $WellKnownReasons, but that's not actually the current point of discussion.
@252fb4d7 If nothing new is worthwhile, I never have to feel irrelevant. Tale as old as time.
