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Brother_Corn | 5 days ago (raw) | root | parent | reply | flag +1 
 Hmmm, I see where you are going with this and I agree. I agree that the act of feeling one way and performing another way is bad, but I wouldn't call it nice. I would call it _acting_ nice, which is being false, which is bad. 

I think nice people are good. Kind people can be seen as nice. So can false or passive aggressive people. That kind of pretending behavior is weak and corrosive, I think we agree there.

But just because a wolf is in sheep's clothing doesn't mean that we should fear the sheep. 

I am probably being nit picky and pedantic here, but I have heard this argument before from someone who was clearly trying to manipulate me out of a solid relationship for their own gain.

It is appealing, no doubt, but I have to go back to first principles here: nice is good, kind is good, manipulative or false is bad. 

People are complicated, I try to watch for patterns over time rather than individual traits before judging, and it sounds like you do too. Like I said,  I am probably being nit picky about one word, I am sorry and I will shut up now
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BitcoinBelle | 5 days ago (raw) | root | parent | reply | flag 
 No need to shut up!! I love words and think it’s okay to wrestle with them. You’re being kind by showing others grace and you don’t want people to be excluded. That’s nice 😊 

I try to avoid labeling things good and bad. It’s too objective and devoid of nuance. Because you see nice as good you naively misjudged that person as someone whose opinion should matter. It happens to all of us. I kinda think that’s one of the things that will harden a persons heart. You protect yourself from those people by understanding kindness is the sheep’s clothing. The sheep are kind. 

People who have to act nice or make sure they are nice are the wolves. They don’t want to be exposed so they cloak themselves in pleasantries. They get in good with kind people and eventually hurt them. 

Life is too short and peace is too hard to come by to spend time learning other people. I truly believe a person will tell you exactly who they are and how to treat them if you pay attention and listen. Sure, they may be awesome people but that doesn’t necessarily entitle them access to you.