Oddbean

Don’t tell yourself you have to do something, or that you should be doing something. Because then when you aren’t you will feel negative and give up. Tell yourself instead… My preference is _________ and when I do ________ I feel better. “My preference is to sleep 8 hours and when I do I feel better, but if I don’t I’ll be fine too.” “My preference is to eat less and when I do I feel better, but my freind is in town and they want to go out.” This helps you reframe away from black and white thinking and shift more into preference and acceptance. Humans are imperfectly made, give yourself wiggle room to do the right thing most of the time but never all of the time.

I like it, but you can go deeper. Your physical experience is a combination of what you think, how you feel & what you do. The words you use in your thoughts & beliefs are as important as the actions you perform. If you want to change your physical experience, you need to shift your beliefs first. The first belief to shift is owning your physical experience & rejecting the victim mindset. If you don't first own your experience, you can never hope to shift it. I believe that everything is happening for me & not to me. Even when my physical experience is not aligned with my preferences, I know there is value to be had. All of your actions are performed because you believe that you will better off for having performed them. If your actions don't align with your preferences, it indicates that you're holding a belief that doesn't serve you. Find the belief & articulate it. Simply shining a light on your irrational beliefs is usually enough to disolve them. It all starts with your beliefs, the agreements that you've been making since you started understanding your world.

I long ago gave up goals for related reasons, I now have ambitions. No amount of joy is too much to strip from life in the name of avoiding being a failure who doesn't achieve a goal, but if something's merely an ambition, it may warrant reassessment.