I learned from him that the wish to tell someone *absolutely* everything is both beautiful and ultimately utopian in a problematic way. We all have within us ambivalences, doubts, unfair thoughts that could cause irrevocable damage if shared. At least in love (of all forms) and relationships that matter to us, we wouldn’t want to rub the other person constantly up against the most troubling sides of our psyche, hence the need to edit. Not to be untruthful or deceitful, but to give the better gift of a thoughtful, lovingly edited version of our thoughts. 

As wonderful as we might think it would be, “we should hope that we don’t meet the fullest version of each other all the time”. Caring about someone comes with the role of lightly editing ourselves out of love. 

Now if you don’t care about the person or the relationship or being kind for the sake of being kind, might as well not spend your time there at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

 edit the delivery but not the message. Any less and you are creating future fissures. If a relationship partner wants fantasy instead, if you feel you have to lie to keep them stable or loving you, run. 

 I’m talking about the parts of our thinking that we wouldn’t want to stand behind. Not every thing that crosses our mind deserves to be delivered – psychopaths lack that knowledge. Even with just ourselves there’s a need for questioning and filtering. 

 are you insinuating that my point of view is psychopathic without understanding what I am saying first? Did I say every thought? 

Let me be more clear for you.
1. the relationship is valued - truth
2. something true needs saying. - truth
3. truth is the goal but delivery can be modified through language and demeanor.

So if all these are true and the relationship is functional, and you are not a psychopath, then the path to truth with minimal damage comes through the communication style you choose to employ. The style you choose to employ reflects on you and not the partner.

so maybe try not to throw around words like psychopath in describing people or thoughts that you have not taken the time to understand.

stay free fren 

 There one no insinuation there! 😂 Only an illustration. 

I guess that’s why we need emojis. 😌

I hear you, and I think we’re talking from two different angles that can absolutely coexist. 

Stay free, too! 🫂 

 There was*