Oddbean

I have a serious question. When you feel bad, negative, depressed, angry, unwanted, or righteous—whatever it may be—do you believe, think, or feel that someone else, who is 'causing' you to feel that way, must change? Do you feel, believe, or think that they need to do what you want in order for you to feel good (and the opposite of what I previously mentioned)? I think this is how we create a lot of suffering—both internal and external, consciously and unconsciously. I’m genuinely curious about how people view this topic and whether they care to respond. I think it’s an important topic for society as a whole—whether it’s about Nostr, AI, Bitcoin, human relationships... #asknostr

It’s all about self and how one feels about things. Pointing finger at someone else is just blame games that do not help anyone. It’s not them, it’s always you when you are depressed, feel bad, etc, etc…. You have the power to change the situation or how you feel about it 🫡🫂

Somebody has to decide if they are a victim or if their value is inherent. The answer to this question is in our origin. If you believe your worth and your value are derived from friends, culture, contributions, etc, you’ll look for somebody else to change your perception of yourself.

Totaly agree! But for people and nations that actually had an experience of being abused, robbed, raped...this is a tricky part because when you are in survival mode, you cannot be in imagination and Trust. When someone experiences this brutallity, they might know (believe) their origin, but they will still feel victimized and what you feel is how you act (what you get). Even worse, they might actually start believing that maybe god exists but it forgot about them.

I completely agree. I by no means mean to discredit the very real emotions that come with being harmed or wronged by another. But can we point to the reality of a grievance or sin against us and claim there is no God because of the ugliness of this world? By no means. It is only to say we have free will and autonomy given to us. A sin against us is only laid to rest ultimately when we realize that sin against us doesn’t define us, because we have been made whole by a God that loves us enough to give of himself for us. This if our only hope in making sense of the depths of despair.

Love is the answer. Always. But in order for Love to penetrate, in order for a human to remember, we need to master forgiveness, releasing judgment and blame, the art of self-observence and surrender, compassion to self and others.

I differ some. I think in order for love to penetrate, there has to be real pain. It’s very hard in America anymore. There’s no failure. There’s no real pain. I’m in people’s homes every day for work and they have indoor heat/air, cable TV, cell phone, food, and free healthcare. They don’t care about anything I have to say-they are completely comfortable and numb. In order for there to be light, there must first be dark. In order for there to be love, there must be pain.

Haha yes. You are correct. Those that loathe autonomy, the rule of law, and beckon for a fictitious moral high-ground based in what this conversation started to be, hate Trump. It is the proverbial Trump supporters fault that they feel depressed, angry, unwanted, etc. They need an external enemy, in order to claim victimhood, so they artificially find a way to claim they can be whole again without so much as a single finger pointing back at them. I feel this way or this person(s) has/have been wronged because of systemic issue orchestrated by people that look like Trump for hundreds of years. So what’s the solution? Equal rights under tha law and work hard to provide for your family? No, that implies personal onus. I’m a victim and I want somebody else to make me whole, because there’s nothing wrong with me. Apolosh the police. From the river to the sea. Pay reparations. Math is racist. Love is love. Gender and sex are different. See what I mean? The irony is, the more they look for government or an ethic of people to fix their issues, either physical or mental or spiritual or whatever it may be, the worse their situation will grow. “For I am unhappy and feel as though I have been wronged! Fix my situation, oh government, or I shall do away with thee.” -Somebody smarter than me.

I think in a moment where you feel angry or dismayed, you naturally want to put blame on anyone but yourself. So you will believe that "they must do what you want", but once you cool down, you have the opportunity to reflect.

We can’t change others, we need to understand ourselves first before relating lovingly with others, often both sides don’t know themselves, and that’s what causes conflict. Most of the time, we are caught up in superficial or mental traps which make us lose contact with our core being, memories and projection is an escape from learning meaningfully about ourselves. We are shallow, it takes effort to go in deeply, and most aren’t bothered. In essence, if we are not aware of our core being it’s not possible to really relate with others.