Oddbean new post about login | logout Because nice gets you walked on and used. I'd rather have enemies. At least their honest...
Drawing the line between being nice and bending over for everybody who wants something from you is hard but not impossible… I do feel your point though.
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Being kind is not a weakness. You can be kind and not get walked on or used, but you have to be willing to establish boundaries. Being kind doesn’t have to go hand in hand with getting walked on.
Doesn't have to go hand and hand, but does 98% of the time in the world we live in today....
I do understand where you are coming from. Society has conflated kindness and weakness.
People just know if you are kind, you are more easily used. That's why kind people tend to have more "friends"(and drama, headaches, etc) around them than us "unkind" people who just say it like it is regardless of your feelings.... Unkind people may have less of a community, but it's one that actually sticks together, not sticks eachother in the back...
I feel like you might have a different definition of kindness than I do. To me kind people are true friends, but they know how to call you on your shit, while also having your back. They will also be there through thick and thin. To me kindness isn’t just fluff and rainbows.
People at some point started to confuse being kind with being nice and those are not the same. Being kind is taking an action for the highest good of all involved but that does not mean agreement! Sometimes being kind means simply walking away. Agree for the sake of peace is being "nice". "Disagree" for the highest good of all involved but presenting the issue with empathy, that's being kind. nostr:nevent1qqsqy86zq6gk8eetsujxs4ph5ju00sdn8px4c59n6j7rmr3ugfyhd8qpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wd68ytnzvuhsygzmwth9p4h3rgk366xxka42q84ezex5988djwn50wcaq30uxvgcycpsgqqqqqqshqvflc