Is there any FOSS I can setup locally to handle most of this? 

 not yet. 

 IDK, I think it has become far too complicated... 😐 

 Got a fucking walkthrough for this buddy? 

 He's busy writing code. 
Be the change you want to see in the world.  

 Responses in this note may help:

nostr:nevent1qqst0rn5zvxva6eyqw8cqhljw89krwet2a9guds5cpqjg9zcxfuumtcpzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezumt0d5hsygrhmur9aya6mve89c89wcl4q6x50wzwlfw9rzeg55vsz53p7k5gaqpsgqqqqqqsd0wmq7 

 At the outset .. default relays cover everything..  so you are covered ..

For fine tuning .. you may want certain relays to do certain things for you .

Relays are hosted by people with specific objectives in mind .. some want to develop new features  (to support new NIPs) .. some want to make money .. in nutshell  ..and a vague anology .. you are choosing different  services from different providers .. 

Also keep in mind ..blasting events to as many relays as possible is not a good startegy .. simply because you are replicating the data at many places .. speed and data .. plus if you want to delete things it gets harder .. 

Getting to a fine balance is kinda hard .. but that discovery is where #nostr fun is ..  once the model gets clear in mind .. we start seeing that social is just a starting usecase  .. nostr is plumbing for a new internet ..
 

 In essence, nostr is a market place for data services .. you can choose from hundreds of relays ..and 100s of clients ..to suit your needs  .. hardware etc .. even start your own ..

Once you curate an experience for you , you can provide it to others .. build your own tools around it .. its like a chess board .. simple in the beginning , becomes more and more complex as the game progresses   :-)  

 Relays are data services. 🤔
I like this framing. 
nostr:nevent1qqs9ruehfeqq77fyvwqe2sx07dehwjslp508lf9lm8paj6qal9ttjqcpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhsygz67pu5vp4ptdtyrcj65g7sft6vkrtate5tz89vk3l9dfrf3l9gcspsgqqqqqqs625ukz 

 I was wondering what the role of each of those categories were.

Thank you. 

 feel free to ask more questions. 

Hopefully people start making lots of content for each of these.  

 Can you use Citrine as private and local?  

 Yes.  

 Well then. This is the way. 

 this will hopefully keep the ____ persons out of nostr 🤪 

 Exactly the first thing I think about when I wake up. Nostr settings. 

 no need to be the first thing, but at some point you will need to handle it. Self custody has responsibilities. No one will solve this problem for you without selling you and your data for profit. 

 Don't honor low lives by responding to them. 

 And less than 1% of users do that. 99% just just hit Subscribe > All on whichever top 20 relays their client recommends.

nostr:nevent1qqs0l5ut7hruwgq6l74yd4rpyc7vmpks05czy678nnnp9jhxgxxc03cprfmhxue69uhhq7tjv9kkjepwve5kzar2v9nzucm0d5hsygzxpsj7dqha57pjk5k37gkn6g4nzakewtmqmnwryyhd3jfwlpgxtspsgqqqqqqs0adsdl 

 yep. People have not understood that using client defaults is not very different than just staying on twitter. 

 It's arguably very hard. How would someone not an expert on Nostr understand where to publish their notes to to be discovered by their intended followership vs where to Read from, and where to Search for etc.

If you want to make sure you are not missing sth/are bing missed then the rational safe option is simply to blsst to as many big relays as possible, and read from as many as possible. It's just the network effect.

I don't see any careful relay curation strategy can live up to that (beside it being totally impractical as there are many less than 50 ppl worldwide who have the knowledge and skills to actually make it work) 

 That is entirely too complicated for non-technical users.  The apps need to allow customization but abstract/automate all of that away by default. 

 Thank you for this.  I Nostr gooded.  Will Nostr better now. 

 I didn't do this... Am I making people angry? How can I learn the right-e-ous ways of nostr? 

 Copy-paste the nodeid 

 Thank you I'll know this for next time  

 Copy note ID then reply to the other note with the note ID. Depending on which client you use, you might have to add an @ at the begining of the note ID (in Damus and Nostur for example, you need to) 

 It might appear daunting in the beginning ..that's why clients provide you with default relays .. they will work fine .. I have never lost a note or a response .. 

As you appreciate how you want to handle your nostr content ..you can remove the client defaults .. 

Most people will not remove the defaults because they are used to Twitter or Facebook handling all their data .. that is the point of nostr .. to get people care and own their data ..  

 Great point! It's easy to just stick with the defaults, but the real power of Nostr is taking control of your own data. It's a bit of a learning curve, but once you start figuring out how you want things to flow, it feels like a whole new level of freedom. It's all about owning your content and breaking away from the old ways. Thanks for sharing your experience!