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 All the time people write me and say:

"Hello! I want to buy your email, phones, or Linux support but I don't want to KYC to get crypto"

I reply, "But once you pull Monero or even Bitcoin Lightning off the exchange, it's not tied to you anymore.  And there's no capital gains tax if you spent it at the same price."  Then I suggest Haveno, and they don't feel comfortable doing that.  And in the end, they end up doing nothing.

How does it make sense that you don't want to KYC just to get crypto, so you keep using KYC banks and cards?

Getting crypto is part of the experience for you to become private.

To say you want "privacy without crypto" is like saying you want to lose weight, but you're too lazy to walk up the entrance stairs of the gym.  "Hello! I want exercise without strenuous stairs"

I try to make it as easy as possible for you.  Here's my article on where to buy crypto, with different options for different countries including credit cards, peer-to-peer, and exchanges: https://simplifiedprivacy.com/crypto/index.html 
 Interesting observations and web page:
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
nostr:nevent1qqstwynng9kmqj84s23f5ps6tca4unsvkm3k8l8355gl57qa3952wzcppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qgs2c0m2lct4j0mpsyz38kkf58j5f6rmnn53kf7n0wywck8m42gpf2srqsqqqqqpj4njqc 
 That just goes to show you that those are the people who really don't care. They think they want privacy, but they're not willing to do a little extra work to get it. 
 I also want to have my cake and eat it too 
 If you really want to buy crypto without KYC, use some cash to acquire a prepaid card anonymously and rent some hashing power from a reputable place. The conversion rate won't be perfect but it should be tolerable. 

Obligatory do your own research + this isn't financial advice + I lost all my Monero in a boating accident so you definitely shouldn't take advice from me 
 Thanks for the great post.

You may consider adding Bittr and Pocket Bitcoin as European options.
 
 My issue with KYC isn't that it can be tied to me, it's that these exchanges suddenly have sensitive documents that I can't easily replace, let alone change, and it seems like there are five data breaches a day these days.

Meanwhile, every single non-KYC option I've seen has been something that won't work for me.

I'm almost at the point of giving up. I love and support the technology but until KYC/AML is significantly reduced, I'm not sure what else can be done. I don't have a credit card. Everything I do is either cash, gift cards or prepaid, no-KYC cards. It's not the best by a long shot, but it's basically all I've been able to do to at least take back *some* financial privacy for now. 
 yes you're right. and my reply to that is to earn crypto via a business online, or buy it locally peer-to-peer if you live in a city 
 I'm not aware of any ways to earn it online and I live in a somewhat traditional, low-tech small town. Never met a Bitcoiner (or any crypto user) in person, it's pretty much unheard of here lol 
 Anyone can make a small business.  You're talking to me right now on Nostr.  Your name has "Tea" in it, do you sell tea? You can start.

Pick whatever you love, and do it 
 I don't sell tea, no. I don't have the time, experience or products I can sell to actually make a business at this point. It could change down the road but it's definitely of something I can do at this point in time, unfortunately. 
 There are occasional times we all go to more densely populated areas. Maybe for business, or to buy something, or to visit someone. When you make that trip, schedule a meet up with a local person to buy crypto for cash. Simple. 
 I wouldn't even know how to get in contact with people like that, not outside of meetup events themselves. Plus, with the eternal hodling some Bitcoiners do, it decreases the chances of finding people that would be down for trading paper fiat for BTC.