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 My issue with KYC isn't that it can be tied to me, it's that these exchanges suddenly have sensitive documents that I can't easily replace, let alone change, and it seems like there are five data breaches a day these days.

Meanwhile, every single non-KYC option I've seen has been something that won't work for me.

I'm almost at the point of giving up. I love and support the technology but until KYC/AML is significantly reduced, I'm not sure what else can be done. I don't have a credit card. Everything I do is either cash, gift cards or prepaid, no-KYC cards. It's not the best by a long shot, but it's basically all I've been able to do to at least take back *some* financial privacy for now. 
 yes you're right. and my reply to that is to earn crypto via a business online, or buy it locally peer-to-peer if you live in a city 
 I'm not aware of any ways to earn it online and I live in a somewhat traditional, low-tech small town. Never met a Bitcoiner (or any crypto user) in person, it's pretty much unheard of here lol 
 Anyone can make a small business.  You're talking to me right now on Nostr.  Your name has "Tea" in it, do you sell tea? You can start.

Pick whatever you love, and do it 
 I don't sell tea, no. I don't have the time, experience or products I can sell to actually make a business at this point. It could change down the road but it's definitely of something I can do at this point in time, unfortunately. 
 There are occasional times we all go to more densely populated areas. Maybe for business, or to buy something, or to visit someone. When you make that trip, schedule a meet up with a local person to buy crypto for cash. Simple. 
 I wouldn't even know how to get in contact with people like that, not outside of meetup events themselves. Plus, with the eternal hodling some Bitcoiners do, it decreases the chances of finding people that would be down for trading paper fiat for BTC.