Sex is supposed to be the physical representation &/or celebration of a deep mental & emotional bond that you have with another person. When the mental & emotional connection isn't there, the sex will often just leave you feeling empty.

It's kinda like throwing a birthday party with no birthday to celebrate. 

 That is an opinion and I respect it. And I can see why you look at it that way. Thanks for sharing 🫂 

 to elaborate a bit on the idea, I'll make a few claims:
if regeneration is a positive feedback loop than
degeneration is a negative feedback loop.

why does this apply to "sleeping around?"
it causes individuals to become desensitized to the aforementioned spiritual aspect of sexual relationships 
it causes many to remain in toxic relationships, casual or formal, much longer than they might otherwise
it increases biohazard risk in a population
it can cause a lot of unwanted pregnancy and the issues that arise from that, single parents, unhealthy parental lifestyles, unnecessary debt, etc.
sexual expectations may not align with reality after having slept around when a young person finally settles down with a spouse, causing marital tensions in some cases

of course life is messy and doesn't follow all of these claims in every situation, but society wide I think that it is fair to say it degenerates society to some degree for these above reasons.

all that being said, as a young man, largely lonely I would've rolled my eyes at my above comment, but post marriage and children, I recognize that there is more to this than simply "God says"

 

 Interesting points. I’m not religious but when I remove the “spiritual” element, it still holds weight. Seems like civilization advanced much faster than our evolutionary/biological programming. 

 I’ll try my best - I’m having a hard time trying to express what I’m thinking.

Good sex is a tribute to yourself and your partner. It is a very intimate experience - you are allowing someone else to be a part of your life and an extension of yourself in a way you wouldn’t allow others to. 

For women, you are quite literally allowing someone else to be a part of yourself, and there is a big element of trust and vulnerability which comes with that.

For men, you are expressing love for someone physically, while also celebrating yourself and your character. People have all different kinds of styles to do this in, but generally there is an idea of masculinity which you are embodying. Traits such as strength, courage, decisiveness, and trustworthiness come to mind.

Sex is ultimately an act of reproduction, in the purely biological sense. It doesn’t have to be used just for reproduction, but the possibility is always there. For women, reproduction is a very costly and time consuming thing which ideally is done with a partner that they love and trust. This will always play a factor in sex.

When you make this connection with someone, it’s permanent. You will always know them on that deeper level, no matter if you never see them again, or if you get married. For most people, making a ton of these connections and having them all leave after is incredibly psychologically damaging. You start to either undervalue yourself, or distrust others, potentially both. This isn’t as damaging for men generally, but it’s a pretty universal possibility.

In many ways, we are spiritual beings, and our physical actions are a representation of our values. I’m not trying to come across as a prude - I unfortunately understand the spiritual power of sex and the danger of bad/frequent connections because I’ve had experiences which I’m not proud of. 

 Very good points thank you for sharing 🫂 

 Lol you mean for men. Lots fail to satisfy a women 

 Quality over quantity. Take in mind that players tend to have daughters rather than sons later on. 😉 

 Girls are better anyway 🫡 

 I'll let you know how it goes. I wanted a son first. 

 Being a girl dad > being a boy dad

https://video.nostr.build/8165f8dfd45199eda6ece4ac017ec0b6d60ef2e38d7e48fddcfadbca900b7513.mp4 

 That's cute as hell - my daughter is all "grown up" now, but, as much as everyone may keep telling me she's a fully grown adult, every time I see/speak to her it's this sort of age I see her as 🥰 

 I love this. Makes me more excited to have a daughter someday 💜🫂 

 Greatest privilege of my life is being her dad - going back to your initial post...I've played the field...as I've got older its got less satisfying and I wish I'd been more like my dad and grandad...proper long term relationships that last.  

 Yeah I noticed it’s less satisfying to me now that I’m a little older too. I think as we understand ourselves better, we tend to value those superficial things less. But I also think some people that never understood themselves well end up getting divorced and then going through this phase even though they’re older. So maybe it’s just a phase? 

 I don't think divorce is a good idea generally, therefore the key is to be happy by yourself first, then you can commit. Definitely know yourself before entering a relationship. Be careful not to drown yourself in a sea of pointless pussies, in the wise words of Hank Moody. 

 Learning to be happy by yourself is great advice. I think you have to date a little to learn who you are though. Humans are relational animals, we learn a lot about ourselves when interacting with others. 

 There is no formula. Definitely go out there, have fun and be relaxed. You'll meet what you need if you pay attention to your gut feeling. There's your radar! I have a feeling one year from now you'll found what you are looking for. 

 Tiffany...
nostr:nevent1qqsf9kcj9yf2xelvzvm07w8ygxjxkd8jjqyuw545etjmq9yh2uztffspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuetcd96zuur4vgpzq3dn25suxy49mfxz2krs8t2tu0fwd5yvsyj4z52v0g0t026l5rcyqvzqqqqqqy3z74mm 

 That one you don’t need to test drive 😂 

 Well... 😂 

 Agreed. My two girls are amazing and constantly surprise me.  Taking them to Puerto Rico next week…should be a great time. 

 Hope you have a great time. We need great fathers to raise amazing daughters 🫡 

 Thanks brother! They’re excited about a bioluminescence kayak tour and we’re gonna hike the rainforest there a little bit. 

 That actually sounds really fun, would be cool to see pitches 

 Just be a good dad,simple. When u get old and crumble they'll be there.  

 Yeah I try to be.  Kind of flaky and adventurous, but at 11 and 13 they think it’s fun most times.  They definitely know I love them and would take a bullet. 

 Try not to be flaky, its may be cute in their youth but not so much as they get older. I'm sure that's not your intention. Always always say you love them, its not the same as knowing. You're the first impression of a man in their life so if you mess up, the rest of the men will suffer. 

 lol I'm into you babe just not that into you. Just make sure you settle down with a low body count if they still exist. 

 Of course🫡 

 I don't think I could ever be with someone who put themselves on display that way. I have no problem with the fact that some do. I suspect that the choice to do so isn't usually the result of anything particularly healthy. But it doesn't do anyone any good to attack or condemn people for something that harms no one.

There seems to be all sorts of insecurity on both sides of the sexual divide. Religious people are like sexual anorexics or bulimics, & then there are sex workers who are basically the sexually "obese." Neither being good examples of a healthy approach to the subject. 

 Sexual anorexics and sexually obese is a really good metaphor! I agree with you and I don’t think I could be with a woman that did OF or anything like that. But I also don’t see the harm in them doing that. Their business with their customers is completely consensual.