Oddbean

Talking about emotions doesn't really help to anyone. Women go crazy - they meet with their girl friends and then "ventilate" to each other, basically throwing their shit onto others so they feel temporarily lighter. Emotions are the very essence of being a human. You don't need to talk about them, you need to talk to yourself and ask yourself "what do I believe to be true in order for me to feel this way"? That's how you detect belief. The triangle of human psyche is composed from beliefs that lead to emotions and based on how we feel, we perform actions (or not). Only action and doing won't bring you what you want (masculine principle), or it may happen but with crazy amount of efforting. The same as only being emotional and fantasizing (female principle) without taking action won't bring you result you seek and life you want. It's about balance of both energies: masculine and feminine that exist in each of us. So, you don't need to talk about emotions, but you own yourself to stop hidding them, pushing away and repressing them. They have nowhere to go but in your subconscious mind and the body and then backfire. So, see them, acknowledge them, detect your belief, center yourself (power of now) and choose again. That's bringing unconscious to the conscious - freedom to choose. Otherwise, you will be the victim of your negative emotions and creating unconsciously. Ps: warm advice from ex therapist. Take it or not.

Two good reasons to talk to valuable friends about problems, neither of which are "unloading" or "venting" (which I agree is not helpful): - seeking advice from someone whose opinion you value - maintaining a networking of connections who care about each other doing well and know when one of their network is having a hard time These are both action-oriented activities that prevent people from becoming isolated. Interestingly enough, a therapist provides neither in a genuine manner.

I put it in quotes as the essence of the message since you said men should not talk about problems but act. Since the underlying topic here are emotions really and what to do with them, I gave myself the freedom to pull out the topic and put it in the quotes. Sorry that triggered you somehow. No bad intentions from my side. You can be sure of that.