anxiety levels peaking.
have no choice but to say something tonight. she'll be thoroughly pissed if i wait until tomorrow to say anything about going.
not going to be happy about it tonight.
should have said something yesterday. anything at all. even just a simple "hey i've got plans this weekend" didn't have to go into detail. now there's going to be so many questions. when did you plan this, why didn't you say something sooner, what is it you're going to...
*panicking dracogryph noises*
:dragn_sad:
Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe my current state. I should have known life would find a way to fuck me even harder than it already had.
I checked my bank this morning to see if all of the unexpected early bills had cleared yet, and see how much I had left. I wasn't expecting that more bills had posted while I was asleep.
I thought overdraft was disabled. No, that was "only for debit transactions" and "for your convenience, ACH transactions will still be processed"
Thanks, really fucking convenient.
So now, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
Like I said before, I'm not asking all of you for any help this time. You've done far too much for me already. This is more of an informational post, so you know what's going on.
https://furries.club/system/media_attachments/files/111/457/540/009/555/174/original/87c118948534a1b4.png
and it wasn't simply about the money. It's the whole collection of things that have happened in the last few days that nearly pushed me past the point of no return. I can only take so much at once, and my limit recently is far lower than it used to be.
Hi.
I got distracted. Forgot I was supposed to stream tonight. Also forgot about time apparently, as it's now... 4:40am... Whoops.
Going to bed now.
Stream tomorrow hopefully? If I don't forget. Sorry about that.
Anyway, night y'all. :dragon_heart:
Finally done with everything. If I were to start setting up the stream right now, I could be live in about 15 minutes. Going to the time that I originally planned on ending, that would make the stream...
About 10 minutes.
So, yeah...
Hopefully tomorrow works out better.
"I wanted to (do xyz) today, why did you get up so late?"
I'm so sorry that my illness has caused you any inconvenience. I'll go tell it to fuck off so the world can get back to revolving around you.
Work has ended.
Physically, feeling worse now. Was definitely not recovered enough to come back.
Emotionally, meh. Could be better, could be worse.
So tired.
Just want to go home and go to bed.
It's so late. Why am I still up? Really should have gone to bed like two hours ago.
Definitely not intentionally distracting myself, trying to avoid that anxiety and existential dread, nope not this critter.
>.=.>
<.=.<
:dragn_sad:
It's like 10 miles away, and this is a 60 year old military jeep that doesn't like going over 40mph. Add in the fact that it has no doors, no heat, and it's like 50° today, and I'm starting to feel like maybe I shouldn't take it.
*growls in general direction of the clock*
Why do you do this to me, oh infernal contraption? Taunting me with your numbers. You claim it is late, but it doesn't feel like it. You say I need to sleep, but then you wake me, mere hours later, with your digital yammering.
While I do not approve of your doings, I fear I must abide by them, for the sake of my own sanity and that of those around me.
(various rude sounding grumbles and chirps, including one that you get the sense suggests an inanimate object should perform unlikely acts upon itself)
Had planned on doing another art stream tonight, but work went on longer than expected. Add on the fact that I've got to get up early to take care of some things at the bank (yay for horrible Saturday hours!) It means I'm not going to be able to do it tonight -.=.-
Maybe tomorrow night.
I was thinking about it today at work, and I've realized that once I get my financial situation sorted out again and get back to my own house where I can actually pursue the whole trans thing without fear of consequences from my family, I honestly have no idea where to even begin.
Like, do I just go to a psychiatrist and be like "yo doc, I think I'm trans" or what? (Obviously saying it a bit more seriously. I use humor as a coping mechanism, in case you haven't noticed)
Sorry, snack acquisition (snacquisition?) took longer than intended. Starting stream shortly.
I actually remembered my picarto login!
https://picarto.tv/zoranu
Oddbean new post about login | logout
Notes by Aria 🏳️⚧️ :therian: | export