update: they havent moved during the whole time i was making macaroni
granted: i did place them in a damp nest of lamb's ear (i wet the leaves incase they were thirsty) but since it has been a long time im starting to think this is less about the comfort of this temporary abode & more about the damage
dont have words to even gesture towards the vaguest shape of anything else
cried a lot today idk
a total horror story was a brief respite
the compartmentalization
wont hold forever cos that's not what compartments are made to do
the lancet said 186,000+ & that's conservative & even that isnt stabilizing as a fact of the matter
was lucky enough to wake up w/ yemi's tomorrow in my ears & the only thing putting a smile on my face is watching everyone dance to it in reels
https://youtube.com/shorts/Y2B2Su8ZEwU
ya know the feeling of when you look at too much artwork in a day so you feel fucking insane
not quite that bad cos i wasnt in public but i did look at 1200+ images that the website indexed under angel & then if there was even the smallest chance like maybe i went thru the artist's entire body of work on that website & so
it was a lot
like i get too fucked up by the Temple of Dendur & that's right at the beginning cos how do you walk by stuff but then i dont have the stamina like my bandwidth cant do it
actually, now that im putting this into words, i do have a friend who can accompany me who is very aggressively single minded & fast when given a task like if i ask for assistance in this way i think she would be really pleased to do this for me.
i appreciate that he renders angels with rainbow colored wings but they still suck
however, a lot of his paintings that are not on the subject of angels are extraordinary
so, that's the backstory
now, re: this painting
1. i've never seen a dragon like this & im into it
2. i dont know this story so i just went to the skim the plot & it sounds both incredible & so bonkers i snorted, which, again, in the context of 580 suckass angel paintings, is meaningful
my broader conclusion at this moment in time, again, taking into account im under the weather: human beings have created a lot of pretty un-artfully rendered paintings thru the ages
on balance of scales im incredibly unimpressed, however, i did just look at a whole lot outside of their context & local temporal world vibe
seven minutes in & i already feel so much better inside my very own face about human beings so that's why im sharing here
prolly gonna fall asleep listening to this cos last night when i tried praying it suddenly became way too serious & got really long cos i didnt want to leave anyone out on the entire earth so that took awhile
https://youtu.be/pUa_LzZk7PI
you know how people can be single issue voters?
i am so sure i am not the only one looking to reincarnate pre-Nietzsche
like just a prohibition on the entirety of the 1800s for good measure. absolute refusal to live downstream of his existence.
i am not saying this in actuality
made promises
reincarnation not about me
etc
etc
i mean in a strictly petty way
like so selfishly just-for-me
like a one off life like icecream
it would sooooooo be pre-Nietzsche
i wonder if i'd have a vague foreboding sense that the future was gonna suck
or maybe id experience it as gleeful
like found dead in my bed w/ a smile like some part of me knew it was so clutch to die before 1844
granted, this is my third day under the weather (i dont think it is covid but who the fuck knows)
granted, i probably got sick at my grandma's interment funeral memorial hangout last week cos a bunch of people i didnt know from all around this country were hugging & kissing me & saying things like: i havent seen you in 25 years
& granted, my friend is back in the hospital
which is a long way of saying:
things could be better from a mood standpoint
so im saying that upfront re: bias
more helpful but still not what im looking for cos i feel like this is resting in something else & im not well versed enough in modern traditions of thought & people like eric fromm to even say like 'oh that's some fromm shit' but i know it's someone's shit
remember that time i tried low effort flirting thru innuendo with a product that, if purchased, exposes you to chemicals including Bisphenol A (BPA), which is known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.
truly dying at how unhinged it is to open a song with "i can read your mind"
like just fully delusional
& coupled with spinning in a computer chair?
truly 10/10
& that's not even touching the aesthetics of her being quarantined in isolation in some futuristic dystopian prison building but it's ok cos she can somehow control the broadcast
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