Oddbean

Number 7) Condoms found food at a McDonald’s in Eastern Pennsylvania in 1999 William smith discovered a condom while eating his Big Mac he complained to the manager who apologized and offered him 2 coupons smith later filed a lawsuit against the company inciting emotional and physical illness 10 years later a Swiss 7 year old girl found a condom in her order of fries her mother who was understandably furious called the police who sent the prophylactic to a laboratory to check whether or not it posed a health risk

Number 8) Mickey's Dick Smasher I fall asleep in my bed and my vision slowly fades from black, I see myself at the entrance of Disneyland, but it seems a bit off. As I walk inside I notice a lack of people, not even employees are around, and all I have is myself, or at least that is what I thought. I fell my ears must be fooling me, as a familiar voice hits me with the softness of silk, “are you feeling lonely?” I turn back and I see the face of Mickey Mouse himself, once in my life I feel like I have a friend. His soft gloved hands touch my arm as he leads me somewhere, “no one should feel lonely in Disneyland”, he says as we enter the castle. A secret door opens right before my eyes, my field of vision is filled by the sight of a sign, I read it in awe, “Mickey’s Dick Smasher”, I couldn’t believe it. Mickey touches my shoulder and looks at my face, looking into his eyes, I ask “is this real?”, he replies “only if you believe it is”. I feel the soft touch of fabric as Mickey’s gloves run down my body, the buttons on my pants are undone. I feel my blood rushing down, never in my life have I ever felt so aroused. As he pulls me by the penis, Mickey positions me in the ride, feeling his warmth close to my face I hear him whisper, “are you ready?” I feel so excited I instantly ejaculate, “I guess that is a yes”, he says as he lets go of me and pulls a lever. I see the tracks of the coaster shaking, they are made of steel and seem quite strong, but the weight of the carts still makes them unstable. The bare sound of metal against metal makes me think of the brute force of the machine when my dong gets obliterated. The impact hits me, but the feeling is not as expected, my illusion is broken, I feel sweat in my forehead as I stand up from my bed, the water that was once escaping my body as sweat now leaves as tears. I couldn’t believe reality, desperately looking down my pants I cry, my dick is still there. I sob as I turn to the side and try to sleep, only this time, I wish I don’t wake.