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 if when relating to someone 
you feel healthier?
you are in joy more often?
whatever that looks like for you?
(dancing & singing for me)

that is prolly healthy & a good relationship

as in, if you feel goldilocks comfortable & it isnt too hot or cold or hard or easy 
 i mean that for friends, partners, found family, animals etc 
 that's what nadia is like for me
that's what jack is like for me
that's what anan is like for me

i am better for it 
 can see & experience & feel that crystal clearly to me in my own relative reality 
 this is also abundantly clear cos dan, hearing that, hearing that clarity, 

literally tried to make a move

kinda wild he only ever tries
once he can feel im gone

if im single he doesnt give a shit
cos not going anywhere 
im around & available as his friend

only only only the times im out
does he try to pull me back in

like he literally is not attracted to me
it has never been a romance thing
he just doesnt want to lose "mama gillian"

& he is running the belief that if a woman is dating someone she cant have male friends 

like that is his math 
 he is just a poor mathematician 
 & cultural misogyny re: his neck of the woods 
 like why was he listening to mike pence 
 why doesnt he trust me that i would never be involved with someone 
who insisted on controlling my relationships with longterm people in my
life like??? 
 dissenting sure
hating that friend, fine
me caring about that, absolutely

all normal things

preventing me by force? insisting i dont? thats not a partner that's a jailor then 
 logical reasons?
being a mother
having children rely on you
someone who drinks & has guns in the house?

fair point & point taken
& it is a different thing when people are parents

am i a mother at the moment 
 & so

glad
we
have
sensible
mathematicians
too 
out 
here