@5e7f4176 

When you next open your eyes you are plummeting rapidly through the air, securely belted to your skydiving instructor. The instructor is Kevin McCarthy. “Pull the chute!” you shout. He shakes his head. “SORRY!” he shouts back. “MATT GAETZ WILL GET MAD IF I PULL THE CHUTE, SO INSTEAD I AM GOING TO USE THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING!”

“That won’t work!” you yell. The ground is getting closer.

“IT’S THIS OR MY JOB!” he shouts back.

https://wapo.st/3EZ0Zui