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 Running a relay is one thing. but you need to broadcast your relay to other relays otherwise running your own relay is kinda gay 
 Yea.. the whole process would need to be made easier. 
 I didn't know I was kinda gay 😂 

How do you broadcast your relay? 
 Depends......  say you write everything to only your relay, you can add other relays to your nostr client and click Broadcast to send posts out. 

I run the strfry software and I have strfry also act as a router to sync my relay with the major relays. This way, I only need to connect to my relay which is spam free and notes will sync to other relays. It acts like a super relay basically. 
 Interesting, I found that different clients interact with my relays in different ways.

Also, my own relay nortis.nostr1.com doesn't receive all my notes despite it being listed in every client.

I spent some time configuring Amethyst with the full relay config, but not sure that translates much to other clients.

I'm still not deep enough into relays 😱