Sadly with broadcasting services, it makes it nearly impossible to take enough control of your notes. And nothing can really be done to stop it. I agree this is a major safety issue. Best you can do is pick the best relays and hope for the best
I hear you. It starts educating people and opting out, then verifying and holding relay runners to the new standard. If enough people do this, the tech will evolve to meet user expectations, or privacy-conscious users will just stop using Nostr, and it would be a shame to see that happen.