Your issues are somewhat separate from my point here, but Pixels with GrapheneOS are really easy now. I started hacking Android devices when some of the first ones came out and things are SO MUCH better now. Rooting Samsung phones was a lot more dangerous and difficult than using a Pixel with GrapheneOS. 

It's certainly okay to be afraid and I'm not telling anyone to go buy anything.

I've used Swappa to buy used Pixels for years. I never buy the latest release. I bought my last Pixel new, but it was a model behind and a lot cheaper. The A series is great. That'll save money if you decide to switch in the future.