Oddbean

Well, to be honest with you, I think too much thinking and believes, make people loose on life. If we are honest with oneself, who knows? The purpose of life is having experiences. Why care if it will be long or not? Who cares? You don't know if you will be annoyed. Image life gives a girl you are never bored with ? Everything is possible!!!! Why not just simply live? Take a chance, and accept how things go? I mean, tomorrow we can be dead... We have no control on life and the time we are here. It's just "anti" life I think to not live, because we make stories in our mind that are far from reality.

We all have ! Me included. I have been all my life alone, so I understand your point. I also have been in several abusive relationships, so I have trust issues, for example and I think I stonewall. Lol Wise response! I like it! 😋🌈🙌🌈

I've had 4 long(ish) term relationships and I have an adult son, who currently lives with me AGAIN🙄😂, he split up with his gf and lost his job in the same month☹️. Anyhow, as I say, I'm lucky to have had those relationships and I'm grateful for them, they have been, largely, good experiences and as you say, life is all about experiences. All of those relationships have ended because of my behavioural issues. I am a very very nice person but when I'm not I'm TERRIBLE!! (Never physically) but I have an explosive temper. Women, rightly, can't understand how I go from being SO nice 95% of the time, to being absolutely fucking horrible, the next. They just can't understand why I'm like that and ultimately, after a given amount of time, they will rightly, put up with it no more. I too, find it difficult to reconcile with myself, why I am like this. I've had counselling, I've read books but ultimately, I am who I am and it's up to me to sort it out and change. Something which, up to now, I've not been able to master! I hope you now understand why I don't really want another long term relationship till I've sorted this shit out, it would simply not be fair on the other party🫂.

I understand and agree to a point, since I reckon that relationship issues can only be sorted inside a connection. You can do part of the healing on your own, but then you have to be in the "field" to manage to watch yourself doing it and choose not to do it in the moment. Was I clear?