Sadly zaps are not private. They spoil all the privacy that normal LN payments have by publishing nostr identities of sender and receiver. That's ok for getting recognition for you zapping or getting zapped a post but for allowance I would suggest to use Phoenix or at least not zaps.
Private zaps are!
How do private zaps work?
They are kind of like giftwraps before giftwraps became a thing. When you zap someone you encrypt the zap request note to the person you are zapping. Only the person who receives the zap can see who sent it. Not even the lightning node / service can see who sent it. It’s all end to end encrypted.
And they work at least on Damus and Amethyst 🤙
Interesting thanks 👍
But the recipient still is publicly marked as having received BTC, right? It's just not necessary to zap for allowance and many other types of payment. And a completely private zap would maybe be good as a payment receipt but then it wouldn't be a zap, would it?