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 Oh, I know.  It’s not what you’re saying, or who you’re saying it to.  But it’s a step in the right direction.  Noting online is 100% secure.  That’s why al-Qaeda ended up resorting to hand written messages passed from person to person.  The best thing you can do is go grey man.  Don’t  attract undue attention to yourself.  The FBI even runs thousands of TOR nodes.  

I’m not buying monero.  I rely on just being not interesting enough to be worth paying attention to. 
 Nothing in life is 100% secure. Grey man is a valid tactic, but not applicable for every situation. Grey man doesn't help when you need to do something that will make you stick out. 
 Like a sailboat?  Not if you’re in Annapolis, the sailing capital!  Unless you’re making yellow cake, nothing sticks out if you do it right. 
 >  Noting online is 100% secure.

If your goal is that of remaining "private", Nostr isn't even 50% secure. Or 1% secure.
You are 100% guaranteed that, unless you use some kind of protection that exists outside of the Nostr protocol itself, all relays you are using will know your IP.

It's not a risk, it's an absolute certainty. 
 > I’m not buying monero.  I rely on just being not interesting enough to be worth paying attention to.

Good thing that none was suggesting you should buy Monero, or anything else for that matter.
What you find interesting is a subjective feeling.

The cryptographic properties of Monero and Bitcoin, however, are not subjective, regardless of what you or anyone else find interesting.