@27823c36 

from my own trauma work, I don't think the answer lies in our ancient past but our current woes

growing up in poverty has very real dangers, a constant feeling of "if I screw this up, I'm homeless", and that's a very real possibility, it's not a phantom fear

if you don't put up with that asshole boss, you could lose your home

if you don't maintain these social network connections, you could be denied group activities that are affordable

those are just examples, everyone's life is different, and I'm sure those who grew up resourced can still manage to end up in situations where they feel trapped, plenty of resourced folks fall into the downward spiral of hateful/biggoted conspiracy circles, for example, a space riddled with and fueled by anxieties of things that are verifiably untrue 

 @122dbffa "If I screw this up, I'm homeless" is very much my life lately. It's a lot to deal with and my mind seems to have locked it out except for times when I have to deal with it directly. 

 @27823c36 

that's a tough place to be stuck, especially when it feels like the stuff causing an overall situation is too big to mentally deal with until absolutely necessary

best of luck fizz'ing out some of the energy-intensive problem scenarios, it ain't easy and so relatable, gosh all the times I've spent planning to handle a future problem only for a radically different problem than I could even imagine to occur instead 😅 

 @122dbffa fleeing Missouri for Oregon and an apartment for a house sitting contract really upped the stakes for me. Fortunately the rewards for making my brain do the thing aren't "continued existence" but "improved existence." Which I managed to take some steps toward today. Whew!