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 I've set 0xchat relay only for DM and it works if i activate the anonymous button in dm right ? https://image.nostr.build/e7737402a6bb730757d92a2d10e964daaa18d48e5d1dde832e742d19b12c59df.jpg 
 I think using just the 0xChat relay with the Amethyst client won't help. I think the amethyst anonymous button just helps encrypt your message so no one can read what you DM but anyone like nostr:nprofile1qqsd236myjzpu489zzr6pxcx0jtrn04pezjnqft23a2pykyuszvwr3qpzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezumt0d5hs50pef4 can still see that you sent a DM. Try getting the 0xChat client that nostr:nprofile1qqs84k6jpsav0jmdeqjn2zxlpnsajaw6f8l0m2d4e9t8gjsyn53s4nspzemhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuvrcvd5xzapwvdhk6qgdwaehxw309aukzcn49ekk2qghwaehxw309aex2mrp0yh8x6tpd4ehgu3wvdhk6pw0r8j works on. 
 Can someone explain how private dm works on nostr 
nostr:nevent1qqspluxmhqnv47y4hn9m7tc5jkdzznmfq28hcvx9dntfptk4232mzcqppemhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mp0qgsydnna6k2n0pxsd2teh8w2cwfdgwpdph2gptkyqnhppg7awlxgz8qrqsqqqqqptql42t 
 #asknostr
nostr:nevent1qqsf7zdkjpp35h0jxlm03un8qx6kjt298kzh803yvz9cmeyc0jejdhcpr4mhxue69uhkummnw3ezucnfw33k76twv4ezuum0vd5kzmp0qgsds3ghsq4yx36hc44wseptl76dymj6mcr3ypfh2qs4dq8439h90xcrqsqqqqqp7mzmjm 
 The different types of messaging (and their corresponding NIPs) are explained well on the @0xchat GitHub.

The anonymous button in Amethyst makes it a gift-wrapped DM if I’m not mistaken, which is more secure mainly because it doesn’t have metadata leakage. 

https://github.com/0xchat-app