You get self esteem by doing things that are worthy of esteem and then telling no one. New PR in the gym? Tell no one. Just made a million dollars? Tell no one. Have an amazing sex life? Tell no one. Promotion at work? Tell no one. Lost 50lbs? Tell no one. People might notice some of these things or changes you’ve made and that’s ok. Don’t be weird about it. If they comment say thank you and keep going. The reason you tell no one is so that you can switch your reference point from external to internal. Let others see the results. Don’t announce them. Anything you have that is enviable others will brag for you.