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 Choosing a relay shouldn’t be deeper than that. 
 actual story of me onboarding somebody:

them: "what are relays?"

me: "uhhhh, don't worry about it" 
 Same with nip05 really lol 
 yes, this 
 also, as a foreigner

i have zero idea what the word relay even means.

so if anything, we should repackage the concept under another word, and simplify it.

or, simplify the inputs and outputs, and keep it a magical black box that the user shouldn't worry about 
 True, users shouldn't have to think about it. But I'm a dev and I want to know, and the issue is I can't figure out what makes different. Or even where to start looking 
 i disagree.  NOSTR users are not normal users and shouldn't be.  thought leadership isn't for everybody.  users SHOULD think about it.

perhaps require every note to have three tags ( example tags: TND, TKD, BTC, Anime, Loli, Gaming, Dev, Censorship, NOSTR, Twitter ) entered by the user.

let the system try to use the tags to put like minded users on same relays, but also put entire threads on the same relay as well regardless of who was posting what as long as it is in the same thread ...

and also federate or something so that people on different relays still can talk to each other, but with perhaps a bit of overhead ...

and for community users the community name is the tag ... @fiatjaf  
 I agree with the first part. I think most users on nostr are not normal and would all in be interested in more details and stats on relays.
I want to see all the details / stats about a relay, but I just don't know where to start looking 
 ChatGPT / LLM type tech could probably be effective in grouping people into relays.  it should be easy to identify Bitcoiners, Nazis etc.

take the 10 most prominent members of each group, train the model on them and it will find all the other group members.  then put them all on same relay.

or for a more sophisticated system it would be able to define groups by itself.  maybe you would end up getting grouped based on your IQ or age rather than your interests or politics.

there are billions of people but our brains are wired for a social circle of only about 100 people and that is reflected in the patterns of people following each other online.  we need to mirror this in how relays work and LLMs can automate this and make it efficient. 
 When i look at relays in Damus, it lists which NIPs are supported by each. Maybe clients could listed relays "features" (aka supported NIPs) and selecting one will filtwr and display only those 
 Yeah, but I just mean it's a bit of a faff for an onboardee, they don't need to bother, best imo to jump in and figure out if it's necessary and how to do it later