Look for the feeling and attitude of being a team. From your description it doesn’t seem like it. Your life with a partner will require some adjustment from the solo play and either one of you should not be making all the sacrifices. 
Additionally, kids are amazing, but they will expose all your weaknesses in sometimes heartbreaking ways. Try to aim for ‘oh dear, how do we handle this’ and not ‘whose fault is this mess’. Consider other situations as signposts. 

 as my dad was dying in the hospital, he said "marriages are partnerships with the same goal. be a good partner." and my mom told me their marriage worked so well because they were on the same team trying to build the same thing (a family). in our best of times, and when we were in the same city, it did feel this way. long distance made this hard. but yes, its what i seek. 

 Good luck