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 zero here, motherfuckers. ZERO!!

That is what the land at the head of the fiat pyramid says is needed. Your investment, YOUR gain.

They WILL tax wealth which is FINE and at 0.015% - peanuts

I love the way i can say motherfuckers and nobody can ban me from anything. Nostr might turn me into a potty-mouth!! ahaha 
 No capital gain taxes in Switzerland? 
 Nope, no capital gains, doesn't matter if held short or long term.  
 exactly - and that is how it should be all over the world. You tax my money ONCE, any gains on the use of MY money are MY gains. Keep your hands OFF.

Germany does a half-hearted thing of "don't touch it one year, it's yours"

Yeah right, how are we to know which sats are a year old and which aren't - we aren't living in an Inscriptions made-up universe! 
 as for the USA and "all crypto spending is taxable"

I don't know how you remain in that country with that law in place...

Is Bitcoin valuable or not? If it is: admit it. If it isn't: you don't need to fuxing tax it!! lol