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5827a807 | 1 years ago (raw) | root | parent | reply | flag 
 @37c798f6 

It's so easy to just derealize or depersonalize or dissociate from all that happened to me in the past. I really don't exactly "get" it sometimes, that all of this actually happened to me.  I think we're taught by the need for sheer survival to look forward, forget the past, but there is no real forgetting the past.

The autistic hyperfunctioning amygdala doesn't forget, as much as we may think we do. It's there. I get triggered (yes, yes, an overused word but it really is being triggered) by these discussions sometimes. 

I should know better by now. But its all surfacing these days.
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06809d7c | 1 years ago (raw) | root | parent | reply | flag 
 @94a46b7d C-PTSD is not a joke and a lot of the crossover is just like an aggravating factor. Remember verbatim things said 50 yrs ago lol it's not always beneficial
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06809d7c | 1 years ago (raw) | root | parent | reply | flag 
 @94a46b7d I just re read this and realized that you said the magic words about it is surfacing now. I saw that documentary about Nan Goldin on HBO MAX, she said something very similar and I was talking with someone else about it and I said I think being disabled has made me more human being than human DOING and I feel like my brain is just pouring it out sometimes. The documentary is called uhm "All the Beauty and the Bloodshed" it really hit me but I loved it.