nostr:npub1xlre3a3tfef5jxv7090rjpgashmuwjtsyvkuvfha6d2amu6tz2wshma8u3 

It's so easy to just derealize or depersonalize or dissociate from all that happened to me in the past. I really don't exactly "get" it sometimes, that all of this actually happened to me.  I think we're taught by the need for sheer survival to look forward, forget the past, but there is no real forgetting the past.

The autistic hyperfunctioning amygdala doesn't forget, as much as we may think we do. It's there. I get triggered (yes, yes, an overused word but it really is being triggered) by these discussions sometimes. 

I should know better by now. But its all surfacing these days.