Oddbean new post about login | logout Every time I start feeling like a victim I remember the car crash analogy. Imagine you are blindsided by a drunk driver. Your legs are shattered. Your pelvis is shattered. Ligaments torn from your bone. You are in immense pain. As you’re laying there you can’t stop reflecting on your bad luck. None of this was your fault. You were obeying the rules of the road. It’s the drunk drivers fault. He is the one to blame. He deserves to be in prison. True. It’s not your fault. You are a victim. But no matter how unfair, no one can relearn how to walk for you. You must do that yourself. Even if everyone agrees that the drunk driver was in the wrong and a court orders him to make full restitution… he still can’t do the work to heal you and bring you back into good health. Only you can do that. So yes things happen. Things that are not your fault. Especially when you are young. But at some point you have to stop dwelling on it and get up and learn to walk again.
Good message. Thanks
A victim mentality is the basis of so many psychological disorders and substance abuse.
My epilepsy was the result of a car crash. I was at fault in the car crash. It’s interesting to be able to point to an exact “jackpot” event. So many people grind away at their memories trying to find a point of divergence where they could say “ah, if only that one thing hadn’t happened, everything would be fine.” But even being able to identify an exact event doesn’t mean you can change it or that it’s ok to walk around with a chip on your shoulder. Wake up early, breathe the air outside and be thankful.
Great analogy. Even if you are victimized don’t play the victim role. Pound forward
This is the best perspective.
good message, though I'd also say that you can also tell yourself that you chose everything that happens to you, because at the end of the day, everything you do is based on your choice, and it gives self-empowerment
Personal responsibility is freedom Feeling like a victim doesn’t fix anything
I’ve often reflected on this advice: “It might not be your fault but it’s still your responsibility”
Thank you.