And also kind of centralizing, which everyone wants to avoid. 

 no point in building something decentralised nobody is gonna use cause it's broken or you need to be an engineer to make it work. 

 Most people just want to install an app, create an account and use it. Quite frankly if I cannot figure out why I'm not getting DM's on Amethyst or, don't see a reply to a DM on noStrudel, have to constantly tune my relays between inbox/outbox and "whatever else" then chances that a normal person will get this to work are not the biggest. Last week I've spent several hours resetting and re-adding relays to Amethyst and noStrudel in an effort to see the same DM's, notes and interactions on both clients. Still doesn't work and that's me, somewhat of a nostr power user. 

 DMs are messed up on Nostr anyways by now, given clients use different standards.  

 I liked when clients cooperated and pushed features to make each other better. Now devs attack each others features with scripts. Can't make this up.  

 right so that feature is basically broken though DMs worked fine before all the changes. 

 I'm not disagreeing. Tho, it was consensus that NIP04 is not ideal and should be replaced. And now look how many clients support the new format and how many only speak NIP04 still. 
It's hard to move or fix things on a decentralized protocol.  

 Also, someone asked me TWO months ago if I'd be interested in maintaining one of their repros. They never got my reply, I didn't get their follow up and I guess by now someone else is taking care of it. 

 I agree, I think that the “average” user shouldn’t need to give much thought to relays at all but client should still have the option for users that want to set specific relays.

I was thinking that perhaps clients can further auto optimise their default set of relays based on the relays that the npubs you are following are publishing to but I don’t know how well this would work in practice.