Surviving a pet means being confronted with the harsh possibility that there is no logic or fairness in the universe, just a cold and indifferent void in which our feelings and actions have no bearing whatsoever. 

Nothing helps except sleep. REM sleep in particular is needed so avoid alcohol especially during periods of peak grief since it interferes with this a lot.

That said, sleep will only help with blunting the pain over time. Note that it is NOT time that heals all wounds, but rather good REM sleep. Other things to optimize are exercise, diet, limiting caffeine, etc but doing so while grieving is admittedly hard. Just do your best. 

Grief is otherwise the excruciating process of reclassifying all your memories (and associated cues like those you describe) to include the fact that your friend is now gone. The unique cruelty of it all is that each memory (when they happen to enter your consciousness) means having to experience the pain of their loss over and over again. 

That said, my own approach was to embrace that pain, to feel it as fully and deeply as possible, every time a new memory came up. I do this to this day even though years have now passed. This is how I chose to honor my friends’ memories and special place they held in my life. It is how I thank them for all that they gave me. 

Even if you believe as I do that nothing matters beyond our own experiences in life, pets surely form one of the very few genuine things worth living for. 

I’m sorry for your loss. 

#grownostr
#grief
#petsarebetterthanpeople